Okay, today’s video we’re going to talk about personality theory. I’m sure you’ve heard of the Myers Briggs, one The MBTI. But this one’s a little different. This one’s called the four temperaments. And I feel like people who are into psychology and stuff have their favorite personality theory. And I know YouTube is pretty big on MBTI. But I’m really into the four temperaments. It’s the bomb, and we’re going to talk about it today and I’ll help you figure out kind of maybe which one you are so stay tuned.

Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood. In today’s video, we’re going to talk about my favorite personality theory. And it’s the four temperaments.

This does not get talked about a lot on YouTube, I tried to search for it and there was like, not that many videos about it. And I think that’s a crying shame because it’s awesome. And it’s one of the oldest personality theories. If you’ve heard of like, MBTI it’s, you know, the Myers Briggs thing. It’s like that, but I don’t know, it’s got like an interesting twist. And I feel like it was the original classification of people. Different psychologists through the ages have kind of put their name on it, which I feel like only further lens like, weight to it, you know, kind of like gives it more proof, but basically, so what it is, is it was originally started by Hippocrates.

Yeah, the guy that’s known as the father of medicine and the Hippocratic oath. This guy is the one that is classified for it was originally known as the four humors. Humor meaning it was like an old-timey word for liquids of the body.

And Hippocrates kind of noticed that like certain people would have a predominance of a certain like bodily fluid. Hippocrates lived about… Okay, so he died about 10 years before Aristotle was born. So this is how old he is and Aristotle, a lot of the Greek philosophers, were aware of his findings, but it was really in and forgive me if I’m butchering the name, Avicenna. I think it was, he was in I believe, AD 980. And he was one of the early medical researchers of that time, the Roman Empire, and he is the first one to apply these four temperament ideas to emotions and like human behavior.

Hippocrates tended to see it as merely a physical thing and that it was like the cause of medical problems. You know, like if you had too much blood, then that was one problem, but Avicenna was the one that kind of noticed that there was generally four kinds of personalities that mapped up well with this four humors idea that Hippocrates had originally done, but he was the one that was like, I don’t think it’s necessarily caused by the liquids. He’s like, these just seem to be four personality types. Now, having said that, you know that was in like 980 AD that was a long time ago, but the general idea has stuck around for hundreds of years. When I describe these four temperaments for you, trust me, you’ll hear it and you’ll be like, I know someone like that. I know someone like that. I know someone like that. And I feel like that’s the beauty of the system. And to me that I feel like that’s what also makes it true. Because it is, so I feel like it is universal and this is often attributed to Carl young, which is not true. This has been around literally for millennia. And yeah, I think it’s like every decade or two, somebody gives these names, like new modern names, and then just describes the same stuff. Even MBTI. I feel like some of the basics, you know, like NT NF. Some of that does kind of map to this. And so people give it different names, but it’s the same underlying concept. But this is the original one. And this is the one that a lot of Thomistic psychology books will talk about. A lot of Catholic theology talks about this. And so it’s very interesting. Again, it’s a tool for self-knowledge, figuring out who you are, and I will, I’m pulling mainly from a book here. This is a really good book if you want to know more about it. Again, there’s not a lot of stuff on YouTube about this. But this is a really good book on it. This is the one I studied in college. It’s by Reverend Conrad Hawk, and it’s going to tell you a little bit about well, actually a lot. It’s pretty, there’s a lot of information packed in this book, but it’ll tell you about it. And there’s also a quiz in the back here where you can figure out what temperament is yours. So I’ll put a link to this in the channel. Disclaimer, it may be an affiliate link, so I might get a kickback, and if that like weirds you out just like searching on Amazon and like you’ll get it without the link.

But either way, I’ll link to that in the description and then you can take a look at it. There are online tests, but I found that online tests often are not very good. I feel like really just taking this quiz in the back of it. As you can see, there’s like a whole questionnaire and it’s very thorough, so it’ll help you figure that out. But anyways, without further ado, we’re going to talk about what it is. So there are four temperaments. We have the sanguine, the choleric, the melancholic, and the phlegmatic. And so the names again came from original body fluids. Sanguine was for blood, sanguinis, that is the Latin word for blood choleric it was like, I think it was black bile. And then I think melancholic was like the yellow bile. I forget the other one and then phlegmatic, phlegm. But you know, we know that’s not, this is not really what’s causing it. But the names just kind of stuck for these general ideas and the way they were grouped. It was kind of like, you know, a preponderance of certain fluid and whether it was like a wet-dry combination or things like that.

The Sanguine

But yeah, so basically with the first one, the sanguine, we’re going to talk about this first because it’s kind of the funniest one to talk about. So the sanguine is like the life of the party person, their extroverted, the sanguine, and the choleric are the extroverted ones. And the melancholic and the phlegmatic are the introverted ones. The sanguine and the choleric are the active ones. And the melancholic and the phlegmatic are a little more likely back. But the sanguine is like the life of the party person, you know, they’re very cheerful. They’re a little superficial. They always want to be socializing. They always want to Be flitting from detail to detail. They’re very enthusiastic. You know, when they see something they have like an immediate reaction. You know, if you have a friend, maybe you hang out with her a lot and she’s always like, very enthusiastic and she gets excited and she wants to tell you about it. And she has a big smile or she’s very emotional, like, Oh my gosh, my boyfriend didn’t call me back and like she’s crying like sanguine or emotionally… I mean, I feel almost exhausted like doing the whole thing but like, as you can see, like they’re very emotionally volatile. There’s a lot of feelings going on with the sanguine and sanguines are often they like being the center of attention. There’s a lot of sanguine girls on Instagram and YouTube. You know, they’re the ones who like to be in front of the camera. They like the attention you know, sanguine men. They like to be actors and comedians. You know, they like to be the funny guy, you know. They want to be the life of the party, you know, and they add a lot of joy and happiness like the light side of the sanguine is they’re very cheerful and optimistic. And you know, if you ever do, it’s said if you have to give someone bad news, send a sanguine to do it because they will be able to tell them. I mean, they could tell you your mom died. And they would have a way of softening that, you know, they’re just they’re good at delivering bad news because they can tell you like, well, at least you get the dog now, you know, like, and it’s just kind of like, okay, but you know, you kind of laugh at like, and with sanguines there’s a bit of a childlikeness sometimes sanguines can be very outspoken, they do not have a filter.

Sometimes their mouth gets them into trouble. But on the bright side, they’re just generally really cheerful, optimistic people. And they do bring a lot of joy and happiness into our lives. They’re good at radiating happiness. And cheering everyone around them, on the dark side, sanguines are a little superficial, they don’t want to go too deep into details if something bad happens, they don’t want to dwell on why it went wrong or whatever they’re like, let’s just get back to being happy, they don’t want to get too into the details for things like that. So, they can be a little superficial and that can be bad, they often have a reluctance towards self-knowledge. There are certain temperaments that they like introspection. The melancholic is like that they like to reflect on themselves, and things like that, but the sanguine, they don’t want to reflect, they don’t want to go to therapy. They don’t want to dig into their issues. No, it’s over. It’s in the past, I want to get on with being happy. That’s how sanguines are and you know that that can be bad. The other thing about sanguine is they can be a little vain. You know, they’re very into how they look and do they have nice clothes and do they have nice mannerisms. And do I look good? Do you know? I think there is a strong sanguine element in the Kardashian women. There’s that superficiality, I feel like Courtney’s maybe a little more melancholic, but I feel like Kim and Kylie might be a little more sanguine. You know, they like being in the spotlight. They like their looks. But yeah, that’s, that’s the sanguine temperament and so yeah, there can be some vanity there. They can get very caught up in just how things look. External appearances. Sanguines often have relationship problems because they will get drawn in by how charming a guy is. You know if he dresses nicely and he says nice things and he’s really cute like, Oh, you know, sanguines are in, but they don’t look very deep. And then they get into these relationships and they’re like, Oh, you know, they come to you crying and it’s like, well You know, did you notice? Yeah, he was mean to the waiter but like, Who cares? What does that mean? You know like and so they don’t often see the signs of impending problems. So that can be an issue. So that is the sanguine temperament. One thing about sanguines that is interesting in relationships because of their generally loving nature, they’re very extroverted, they love people. They can tend to flatter a little bit, you know, sanguine men are really good. They are smooth talkers. You know, the guy that’s a little narcissist, your classic narcissist that will love bomb can often be a sanguine because they are just so good at telling you what you want to hear because they’re extroverted and they’re into people and they want to make you happy, but they’re shallow. You know, they don’t stick around after that initial high wears off. They’re like a little butterfly. Flying they float off to the next thing. So a sanguine man can do a lot of damage but it is said that a sanguine, no one will love you more, nor forget you as fast. So that’s kind of light in the dark side about sanguine and relationships. But so that’s the sanguine temperament.

The Choleric

The next one is choleric. So the choleric is the controlling and the planner and the initiative and they want to dominate. You know, it’s often said that, like Napoleon was choleric, guys like that, you know, a lot of the dictator and the guys, you know, CEOs, there’s a lot of choleric in the boardrooms. You know, they’re the ones that they want to plan and they have a vision and everybody needs to get on board with my vision. choleric women can be the women like the mother, as the matriarch of the family, and she’s planning out every detail of your wedding and you’d better go along with it or there’s going to Be drama, you know, she can be very controlling. choleric men can be very controlling. They can be very, and they’re very cold about it. You know, choleric? Are you know, sanguine are emotionally very warm. There’s a lot of like feeling going on. choleric are very cold, they’re very calculated. They don’t get too much into emotion. They will get angry. A choleric often has a bad temper. They don’t show a lot of feelings except often when it comes to anger. They can be very vindictive, you know, a choleric is very, if you humiliate a choleric, you know, he’s that guy at your workplace, where, you know, if you’re just bringing up things in a meeting, and it’s maybe his idea that he’s trying to push forward and you just innocently point out the flaw in his plan. He’s the guy that’s going to remember it for the next six weeks, and just Be like really butthurt about it. And like, she’s calling me out. Oh, you know, and that they’re very egotistical. You know, whereas the sanguine is vain, but their vanity is kind of superficial with the choleric their vanity is deeper. They want it, they don’t want to necessarily be thought of as good looking or, people like me on a superficial level, they want to be seen as the best. “I am the smartest, I am the one that made this all happen”, you know, and you need to agree with my idea and blah, blah, blah. And choleric are often very intelligent, they will often have I guess maybe a high IQ is a good way of saying it, but they’re often really smart, and they can be very calculated. The choleric temperament, they’re a little psychopathic you know, they don’t care about how they affect other people. Now, the bright side of the choleric is they have a lot of drive, they get a lot of things done. Women that somehow managed to pull off, career and motherhood, and they’re shooting up the ladder. And they’re like, you know, the next CEO of whatever. And somehow they managed to have a husband and three beautiful children, and they’re just juggling it all and you’re just like this woman, superhuman. That’s usually choleric for you. They’re very driven, very ambitious. And so on the bright side, they are intelligent, they are good planners, and they can get stuff done.

You know, they don’t waver. They don’t, a sanguine, you know, that’s the person who’s like, look at this great workout plan. I want this 30 Day Challenge, and then you ask them about day five. And they’re like, Oh, yeah, I stopped. I forgot about that. You know, choleric doesn’t do that. If a choleric commits to something They will stick it out. You know, that’s when that is a good thing about the choleric temperament, they tend to stick to their goals. And then they get a lot accomplished. And so, you know, they can accomplish a lot for society and their family and their life, because they are driven, they like to plan and they stick to those plans, and they will get things done. They’re not very emotional. They will just get stuff done, you know. So that’s kind of the bright side. They’re also really smart. So if you need somebody to argue like the truth of the face if you need them to argue, you know, if you want to get an idea, push through your workplace or something, get choleric in your corner, because they will be one, they’re not as tuned in to people’s feelings. And so they will just plow right ahead and make a case and describe things and get people on board and they don’t kinda tend to be timid and won’t hurt, they’ll just come to tell you straight out how it is, and they don’t care. And that can be useful. Lawyers are often choleric, because they’re very smart, they can prove their argument well. And they’re not afraid to argue, you know, they’re not afraid to be obnoxious to get their point across. So that can be a strength of the choleric. But the dark side of the choleric is that again, they’re not very tuned in to people’s feelings. If you have a very controlling mother, and yet she’ll say things to you that are like, really mean, like, you come home and you’re like, Yeah, I got this great new boy or let’s say your fiance like asked you to marry him. And you’re like, excited and you come home and tell your mom and she’s like, Yeah, but his job sucks. And you’re just like mom thanks, you know, or like they just say cutting things. And they’re like, what it’s true. Like that’s a choleric thing. choleric are very, they will go right to the heart of the matter, you know, the sanguine kind of floats on the surface, the choleric will go right to the essentials. And that’s why they make great speakers and they can often inspire people and get a lot of people on board with an idea because they don’t waste time with chitchat. They get right to the point. And then people are like, oh, and they make a case. They’re very logical, and they can explain their point. And then people are like, Great, yeah, I’m gonna do that. But like I said, they can be very cold and they can be domineering. You know, they’re my way or the highway. 

They’re very egotistical. They don’t want to listen to other people. They don’t want to take direction. If you’re a manager, managing a choleric is going to be hard, because they don’t want to take orders from anyone. According to a choleric. I am my guide. Nobody can tell them what to do. So if you are managing a choleric, or let’s say you have a choleric child, you’re a parent. You want to explain to that kid You’re telling them what you are telling them to do, or that manager, you have to explain. Don’t, you know, don’t be too weak because choleric tend to kind of scorn weakness in people. You know, they’re a little snobby, you know, they are very gifted, you know, intellectually and as far as like, perseverance goes, and sometimes those gifts make them a little uppity. And so when they see other people struggling, they go, Well, I’m better, you know, the melancholic or the sanguine will feel sorry for that person. But the choleric they’re going to be Oh, well, you know, they deserved it, or they’re not as good as me or whatever, you know. So that can be the dark side of the choleric.

Now choleric men and relationships. They’re tough. choleric men in relationships can be, they’re the guy who if your butt looks big, they will tell you and then when you get mad, they’re like, I don’t know why you’re mad. I just told the truth and you asked me anyway, you know, they’re thinkers more than feelers. And you know the thing about a choleric man is it may umm.. see sanguine or kind of like love at first sight and then they just like forget, you know, they’re just like love at first sight with like 16 women, the choleric guy, he may be love at first sight and he tends to kind of commit he tends to be if he’s into you, he’s gonna kind of stay in you, you know, he’s not as flighty as a sanguine man, a choleric man, you know, they’ll date you for a while, they’ll take some time to figure out you know, if you’re worth their time and, and if you’re the woman they want, you know, they’re very goal-oriented. So if they’ve decided, whatever their goals are for the relationship, they’re going to take a little time to discern, figure you out and see if you’re going to fit into those goals. But if they’ve determined that you have, then they will stick with you If they’ve determined they want to get married, and they’re looking for a wife, and you fit the bill, they’ll stick with you, they’ll commit. And so that is something about choleric.

However, if you are a very sensitive emotional temperament if you’re like a sanguine or a melancholic, you’re gonna have a hard time with the choleric man because they’re not very emotional. They don’t open up about their feelings. You know, choleric men are not into that sanguine man he does have feelings. You know, if he sees a sad movie, he’s gonna tear up a little bit he will cry. A sanguine man out of all the temperaments is most likely to be crying at a sad movie. A choleric man is probably the least likely to be crying. I mean, they only cry if somebody dies. You know, if their mom died, yeah, you might see him shed a tear, but they’re not emotional. And so if you’re the kind of woman that wants a little bit, you know, a man with a sensitive side. You’re not going to get that with a choleric, man. So watch out, if you like planners and doers, and you know, you don’t want to mess around with all that like, gooey, gooey feeling stuff, get with a choleric guy, you’ll be really happy. But again, if you’re sensitive temperament, a choleric will be too abrasive for you. And it’ll be difficult to be in a relationship with them. So that’s that on choleric.

The Melancholic

And then the next one is melancholic. So the melancholic is, this is the person whereas the sanguine is very into positivity and cheerfulness. The melancholic is the opposite. They’re the pessimists. If you’ve seen Winnie the Pooh, Eeyore a melancholic, he’s kind of an exaggeration of a melancholic, but he’s a melancholic, he’s going to sit there and be like, Oh, it’s a terrible day today. Look, I forgot my lunch. Great, I got passed over for this promotion. Melancholics look on the dark side, they tend to approach life from a very serious angle. Now, melancholics like the choleric, they’re very intelligent. And so part of the reason they’re so negative is that they like working overtime to like analyze the world. melancholics are very analytical. I think it was, I forget which philosopher said this. But one of the more ancient philosophers, he said that the melancholic is the best. Let me see if the quotes are in here. I want to remember who it was that said this. But they said, bear with me a second while I see if I can find that. I don’t think it’s in this book. I might have a different Yeah, I don’t think it’s in here. One of the philosophers.. I want to say Aristotle, but I don’t think it was him. They said The melancholic is the best temperament for a philosopher because they are so deep. The melancholic is very analytical, they are the overthinkers of the temperaments. They will take a subject and they will think it to death. And because of that, though they are very smart they are often like inventors, you know, they’re not always into philosophical stuff.

They can be like inventors and thinkers and things like that. But they will go whereas the sanguine kind of skates on the surface of things. The choleric goes right to the essentials. But the melancholic goes all the way down to the foundations of things. They’re the opposite of the sanguine And oftentimes, the melancholic can be driven crazy by the sanguine because the sanguine is like lililalala, but the melancholic wants to go deeper. The melancholic wants to know the ultimate causes of things,  You can’t give them a surface level answer. They want to know why. And so that is the melancholic temperament they’re just big thinkers, but they tend to be kind of sad. They’re also more introverted. You know, the sanguine and the choleric. They’re the extroverts are the temperaments. The melancholic is an introvert, you know, they don’t like being around people. Part of it is because they are so sensitive. The melancholic feel everything deeply. They’re very sensitive, they can be touchy, you know, if they’re melancholic, that was maybe given a little too much alone time and they weren’t taught to kind of balance their gloominess. They can be very negative, and they can kind of just turn it on themselves, and I don’t want to be around people, people bother me and they say rude things and then it really affects them.

Now, melancholic is Also very emotional they’re like the sanguine, and that they can feel deep sorrow and deep joy. The melancholic is also the most naturally religious of the temperaments. You know, there’s certain people that they just kind of get the idea of like, there’s a God, you know, there’s some kind of being and we owe that being some kind of acknowledgment, you know, Melancholics kind of naturally get that. A lot of churches have a lot of melancholic. And so one other thing about the melancholic is they can be very emotional, but unlike the sanguine, they don’t wear their heart on their sleeve. If the melancholic is having a bad day, it may be hard to tell because they’re always serious, you know. And I say that with love, because I’m part melancholic, too. But yeah, they just don’t, they’re not very explosive and showy with our feelings. Melancholics are very kind of private people, and they don’t want to, you know, they don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves.

Now, if you win their trust, you know, yeah, they’ll kind of open up to you. And, you know, and then that’s that, but in general, their feelings are more interior. You know, the sanguine is a very exterior person, they kind of show everything. The melancholic are not like that, they’re more introverted. On the bright side of the melancholic, as I said, they’re very intelligent. They’re very loving, you know, they’re like the sanguine, even though they don’t like people they have their favorite people, sanguines kind of like everybody. melancholics are.. they like their group, you know if you’re their family, or you’re like in their inner sanctum, melancholic, you know, they’re very loyal. They’re very loving and they’re very self-sacrificing. A melancholic, if that person trusts you, they will do whatever they can for you. And it’s not like the showy way of the sanguine or maybe the prideful way of the choleric, like look at me, I’m helping you. The melancholic kind of just quietly does it, they just want you to be happy, and they kind of just help you out. And that’s that, you know, and so, they can be very self-sacrificing, they can often exhaust themselves because they don’t, they get so in their head, they don’t take care of themselves, but so that is the bright side of the melancholic, they’re very deep, and they have, brought a lot of intellectual riches and, inventions and things to humanity. A lot of the art, Melancholics are amazing artists, you know, a lot of the great plays or novels or paintings you know, we’re often made by melancholics. They are very, they can be very artistic and the greatest pieces of art whatever the medium is often for melancholy acts and so they make major contributions to society.

But on the dark side, they are very negative. And they can get very wrapped up in themselves and then become very touchy. You know, if you have a mother, that is, she’s just always complaining about her health and the economy. And Poor me, everybody needs to feel sorry for me. That can be you know, if she’s upset over more superficial things, she may have some sanguine mixed in there, but she’s probably melancholic, because melancholic, they’re touchy and all that.

The Phlegmatic

So again, and then the fourth one is phlegmatic. This person is very chill. This is like just a very laid back temperament. You know, they’re not ambitious. They’re kind of introverted. They like people, they’re very stable friends. And they don’t get too high or too low, they just kind of coast along with life, you know, before I move on from the melancholic, dating melancholic men, this can be difficult because melancholic men are timid, they don’t want to expose themselves to rejection. So it could be hard for them to make the first move. But they are thinkers, and so if they like you, they will eventually make the first move. They are very loving, and they’re the man that will open up about his feelings. You know, they’re emotional and they are gentle. You know, they’re the men. It’s said that a melancholic man is most likely to be kind to his wife out of all the temperaments. You know, a lot of men it’s like, once they marry you, they kind of slack off and like sometimes, so Some women complain that once a man thinks he got you or he stops, putting effort into it, melancholic man is not like that. He’s the temperament least likely to do that. And so if you can get past some of the gloominess, he’s a very devoted, loving partner. And again, if you are into the more emotional side of life, and you want a man that’s kind of in touch with his feelings, he will kind of be like the silent type, you know, he’s not going to talk a lot. But once he trusts you, like he will open up and they often have a very beautiful inner world, you know, when you talk to a melancholic and you see how they view the world and the thoughts and the conclusions they’ve come to. It can be very inspiring, you know, these are the men that like, one night after you guys go to the movies,  He tells you his ideas on something and it’s like, wow, you know, it’s this very intimate close conversation. Like, wow, I had no idea this guy was so you know, that guy’s probably a melancholic, you know. So yeah, that’s kind of how the melancholic man is in relationships. And then again, going back to what I was saying before the phlegmatic that man is a work woman, you know, the phlegmatic person’s just very chill. There’s very laid back, All the other temperaments can have very violent feelings, the sanguine will show those feelings. The choleric will often only have feelings, if their plans are thwarted, you know, or they feel insulted. Like they’re not getting the proper respect. They can lash out with like, really immediate anger and you’re like, Whoa, where did that come from? You know, and so the choleric can have very powerful feelings. And the melancholic again also has, you know, a lot of emotion and feeling, which is usually internal, but it can be shown a lot of crying, maybe some yelling if they’re mad, but the phlegmatic doesn’t have these big emotional displays, like other temperaments. This is the person where you’re like, Don’t you ever get mad, you know, or like didn’t that hurt you? And the person’s like, No, not really. I mean, why would I get mad? You know, and you’re just flabbergasted because you’re like, What’s up with this person? that’s likely a phlegmatic. You know, they genuinely don’t get too riled up about stuff. And they are, they’re loyal friends. You know, as I said, they’re stable people. They’re not into a lot of drama. You know, other temperaments can often start drama, phlegmatics, not so much, you know, they’re kind of just, they’re up for a good time. You know, hey, you want to like, go for a ride and we’ll go to Dairy Queen. Okay, cool. Yeah, you know, and you know, and they kind of like in the workplace. They’re kind of just the person that just gets stuff done. You know, they don’t think to talk a lot in the meetings. They don’t get too riled up. They don’t get into politics. They kind of just show up, do their work and go home, you know, and the contribution to society that the phlegmatic makes, and a lot of books, especially this one, there’s not a lot of discussion about the phlegmatic temperament. People will talk very much about the other temperaments and I feel like phlegmatics kind of get overlooked a little bit. But they are people like the sanguine they often have a very positive attitude. You know, the melancholic can be gloomy, just because they’re overthinking everything, and they analyze everything, and it hurts them.

Melancholics may often be major perfectionists, and they see how humanity is falling short of the goal, you know, and that stresses melancholic out. So they’re often sad, and then, you know, choleric, they can often be like, brooding that their plans didn’t work, you know, and then the sanguines like people didn’t pay attention to me, you know, but the phlegmatic they don’t have those hang-ups. They don’t care. You know, they’re just like, Oh, yeah, life is great. You know, surfer dudes, you know, the stereotype of the surfer dude. It’s like, yeah, whatever, dude, like, let’s just go surfing, let’s catch some waves, like, be happy, you know, and that’s kind of all they care about. That’s the phlegmatic. You know, they, they just, they don’t get too riled up about things. And the bright side of the phlegmatic is like I said, they add that stability to life. They’re very stable people. They don’t run off with the Secretary, you know, they’re just, they’re not that kind of person. The Dark Side is they can be a little boring at times. If you’re a sanguine person, I think you’re gonna have a hard time like if you’re a woman, dating a phlegmatic guy’s going to be kind of hard. If you’re like sanguine you want that, like emotional stimulation, you want something going on. If you’re choleric though you’ll like phlegmatics. Phlegmatics And cholerics tend to get together a lot because they’re natural complements. You know, the choleric has all the drive and the ambition. And the phlegmatic kind of is like great, I’ll be your sidekick. I’ll implement your plans cool. Just do it, you know. And the choleric can be a little abrasive, you know, often without even trying and the phlegmatic is so laid back that they don’t get too hurt by that abrasiveness. The sanguine and the melancholic, it can be very painful for them to maybe work for a choleric or if their parent is a choleric or their partner because the choleric just has a natural abrasiveness that they have to work to tone down. But while they’re working hopefully in life, the choleric is trying to kind of tone that abrasiveness down. But the other temperaments you know, sanguines, and melancholic can have a hard time You know, because they are sensitive temperaments, and that abrasiveness can hurt them. And that’s why the phlegmatic and the choleric get along well because phlegmatic is just they don’t get hurt that easily. They’re not super sensitive people. And so you know, choleric says something abrasive in the phlegmatics. Like, yeah, that’s your opinion. And I don’t care, you know, and so that can be good. But on the other hand, sanguines and melancholics, tend to get together a lot. The natural optimism, like attracts the gloominess of the melancholic,  the guy that’s kind of always sad and kind of down, and then he gets with this like bubbly girl perky and you’re like, what the and he’s just crazy about her. That’s often a sanguine, melancholic pairing there, that the optimism of the sanguine balances out the gloominess of the melancholic, and vice versa. The sanguine is very shallow and they often and they’re not detail-oriented, you know if you’re saying when you often have a very, very messy house. I’m part sanguine. So I have a messy house. I’m not judging anybody. But if you’re saying when you’ll be attracted to the melancholic, this is why Marilyn Monroe was attracted to Arthur Miller. You know, you can see she was very sanguine and kind of flighty. And then Arthur Miller was like this deep creative guy, and that’s kind of why that pairing happened and kind of, I don’t want to say it worked, because she kind of broke up his marriage, and they got together and that wasn’t good. But you know, that’s a famous example of a sanguine and a melancholic getting together. Now, I think she had some melancholic inner temperament as well. But you know, yeah, sanguines love melancholics, because melancholics have that depth that the sanguine craves. a sanguine is like I said, they’re kind of shallow. They’re kind of superficial. Whereas the melancholic is the opposite they go deep into the details. And that can balance the sanguine you know, the sanguine can love that about the melancholic, you know if you’re a sanguine woman and you meet a melancholic guy, you will be enthralled with him because he’ll just sit there and like, tell you his ideas about the universe, and like to you, as you’ve never heard anything that deep in your life and you’re just like, this is amazing. You are the most brilliant man ever. And then you know, the melancholic, so happy because he feels appreciated, you know, and so that can be a natural pairing there too. And so, sanguine, and melancholic, do often get together.

And you know, we often see this in marriages, you know, one person will be very disorganized and cheerful and the other one’s a little more serious and perfectionist and like, honey left the toothpaste cap off. Oh, you know, and, and so that, yeah, that can happen. So also in people themselves, the question may come up: what temperament Am I? if you’re listening to this and you’re like, Well, I have aspects of the choleric, but you know, I like attention. So maybe I’m sanguine we often have primarily one temperament, which then is mixed in with like a secondary temperament.

You rarely find somebody that’s just 100% one temperament. We’re all kinds of blends of them. And ideally, you know, to be a balanced person. You want to kind of be a blend of all of them, but your temperament is kind of like I feel like you’re temporary is more or less fixed, that seems to be the general opinion through the centuries about temperament is it’s kind of just the way you are. And you need to work on overcoming the defects and the faults of your temperament. Like if you’re sanguine you need to work on remembering, you know, keeping things tidy, and try not to be so superficial, you have to work on that thing. If you’re melancholic, you have to work on trying not to be so gloomy. Like, Try not to look at the dark side all the time. You know, try to have some trust in your fellow man. Melancholics have a hard time with trust that temperament has big trust issues. It’s hard for a melancholic to trust people because again, they’re very perfectionistic and analytical and so that’s something a melancholic has to strive against. If you’re choleric, you need to like to learn some humility. And again, you’re probably not gonna like me saying that because you’re gonna be like, well, who are you? Why should I listen to you? But that’s something the same or The choleric needs to develop they have to try and be more compassionate to their fellow man. And they have to be humble. They have to learn to take orders from people, especially people that maybe they don’t respect. And then with the phlegmatic the problem with the phlegmatic is they need to develop some ambition. A phlegmatic man, if you date one, that’s the guy that, you know, he’s romantic. And, you know, he’s fun to be around. But he doesn’t have any ambition. You know, he works at Kmart, and he honestly doesn’t see the problem with that, you know, these are the men that, you know, they don’t want to go up the career ladder, you know, they’ve got their job and they’re happy where they’re at, you know, and they don’t want to, they don’t want to get a promotion. They don’t want to move ahead in their career. They’re like, well, I’m paying my bills, you know? Or maybe they’re that musician guy that likes, you know, his music isn’t taking off, but he doesn’t want to stop doing it because oh, I have freedom this way. Why would I go into the corporate world? that’s hard, that’s effort, I’m fine How I am, you know, and nevermind the fact he’s living in a one-bedroom studio and can’t afford a car, you know, and he doesn’t get too bothered by it. You know, if you’re with a phlegmatic guy, you have to accept that lack of ambition is just how he is. And if you want a man that you know has a little more drive, you’re going to need a new boyfriend. I hate to say that, because cholerics, they just they’re not an ambitious temperament. It’s just not how they are.

And that’s with the phlegmatic that is something they have to work on. They have a wonderful ability to stick to their goals. Once they decide what they want to do if they can muster up some ambition and make a commitment to some kind of a goal. They’re very much the slow and steady wins the race kind of person, but their difficulty is coming up with that goal, to begin with, you know, they just, it’s hard for them to muster up the motivation to do things. If you find yourself struggling with procrastination, and you have a hard time getting things done, you may be phlegmatic you know, don’t be too hard on yourself and be like, Oh my gosh, what’s wrong with me? You know, like my friend, you know, maybe your friends phlegmatic and choleric tend to come together, you know, they tend to find each other like friends and stuff. And so, you know, maybe you’re, you have a lot of choleric friends, and you’re always like, comparing yourself to like, how driven they are and like, how productive and how much stuff they get on, you know, they’re like on Instagram posting like, 5 am did my run and you’re over here like it’s 9 am and you’re in bed with potato chips, you know, you may be phlegmatic you know, being driven and ambitious and like getting a ton of stuff done. That’s not your jam, but you do need to get some things done and stuff. So if you’re phlegmatic, you want to kind of work. You want to kind of develop, you know, some goals for yourself and you want to try and, you know, put in the effort to achieve those goals, it may be hard to muster it up at first, but try to think through, you know, use your mind to come up with reasons for what you want. And you know, and then you can kind of, it’ll help you pick goals that you’ll feel motivated to do that will, you know, be something worth, like getting out of bed for, you know, or getting dressed in the morning for you know, so that’s that. Another random tidbit about the melancholic that kind of person is really into like therapy. That’s the person that wants to like a journal about there, like traumas and stuff. That’s a melancholic trait.

But yeah, so that’s the four temperaments. It’s kind of the light and the dark side and then also like kind of some relationship advice if you run into these men. Or you’re trying to, you know, make a relationship work with them. That’s kind of the stuff you’ll run into. So I hope that was helpful for you. If you liked this video, you know, you know the drill, like share, subscribe all that stuff. But yeah, that’s the four temperaments and I will include the link to this book with the questionnaire. And yeah, I hope that was helpful for you.