Welcome to Thomistic womanhood. In today’s video, I’m going to do a bit of a rant about dating gurus. So happy Thomistic Tuesday. In today’s video, I’m going to be giving a bit of a rant. This is a little different than a normal video. I feel like it’s gonna be a little more ranty. But I want to talk about something I notice on YouTube a lot because I spend a lot of time on YouTube some people are on Facebook, I’m on YouTube, but there is a lot of channels that give relationship advice, and a lot of these channels are by men, and they’re men that make very seemingly profitable coaching practices off of Relationship Coaching. And it seems like their channel is kind of the main marketing way that they market that. And I do find it concerning that some of these men are not married. And the reason I find this concerning because there’s a lot of advice they give, and the whole result and goal that they’re trying to put forward and the solution that they’re offering is, Hey, I’m going to tell you how to get a man to fall in love with you and commit to you the way you’ve always wanted.
I just find this concerning because if a guy has not been married himself, if he has not done that ultimate commitment himself, how on earth can he be able to tell you how to get another man to go through that process when he has not done it himself because it’s essentially an emotional process, you know, it’s not like a very cut and dry, like, here’s how to learn how to drive a car. It’s a very intimate, emotional experience for a man to fall in love to the point where he wants to commit his life to you.
So I just wanted to kind of make this video as kind of a rant, maybe or a public service announcement to just be careful on YouTube. Be careful who you get relationship advice from. These men, some of them mean well, I can tell from watching their content that they do mean well, and just because the guy’s been married doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to have good advice. But I do think it weeds out the men that are inexperienced in this area and I think some men also have ulterior motives. I do find that when the idea of whether to sleep with the guy or not comes up, some men do seem to encourage women to work against their best interests and be a little too sexually available. And so it does lead me to wonder if some of these gurus are not trying to help women, but they’re trying to help men by increasing the availability of sex if they have this thriving practice, where they’re teaching a lot of women like you should be more available to men, you know, and that way.
I remember I once read a relationship book wherein the beginning, it was written by two men, and they were proposing that hey, we’re here to help. We’re men. We understand how men think, you know because that’s always the thing. It’s like, No, I’m a man, I can help you. I’m a man. I know how men think. And their advice seemed okay. They seemed like they were genuinely trying to help until I got to the chapter about whether you should wait till marriage about sex. And they were very demeaning. They were like, well, if you’re waiting for sex, for marriage, for sex, flip to the next chapter for the rest of you, blah, blah, blah. And it was like, you know, just the way they were talking about that topic. It was very demeaning. And it made it clear that these guys are not into helping women. They’re into helping men by encouraging women to be more promiscuous.
So I just want to say like, that’s something to be careful about. Because there are men out there like that, and a lot of them make a lot of money and they’re very well known. I could name some names, but I’m not going to. So yeah, food for thought, just be careful just because the guy’s a man and he has opinions on dating doesn’t necessarily mean they’re quality opinions. If he has not made that commitment to a woman and married her, you know, it does, it does become a little suspect. Especially, especially if he starts getting up there in age, it’s like, okay, so you’ve been playing the field and you’re telling women how to commit like, get a man to commit like, so. Anyways, I just wanted to say that. So yeah, that’s it. The end. Thanks for attending my TED talk.