Welcome to today’s video. In today’s video, we’re going to talk about a subject that I feel is controversial, but I think it needs to be talked about, especially on this channel. I’m going to talk about why I don’t like feminism, the problems I see with it. This is a controversial topic because I think especially here in America, it’s kind of taboo to say anything bad about feminism. And so while I agree there’s a lot of benefits to it, I feel there are some areas that it went too far and that I think are reaching a state of diminishing returns with it. So in this video, I’m going to make two videos and this is part one. These are my reasons for why I think we’re starting to get diminishing returns with feminism. And then in the second video, I will finish up with the rest of my reasons

Okay, welcome to Thomistic womanhood. In today’s video, we’re going to talk about a controversial subject. We’re going to talk about why I don’t like feminism or the problems I see with feminism, I think as women, we all should have a voice. We all should use our intelligence, make our own decisions with life, it’s our lives, and we should live them the way we see fit. And so I think as a woman with a brain, I think I do have the right to question a few things about feminism and that’s what I’m going to do in this video and I’m going to give a few reasons a few things that I questioned about it and then I do want to make the disclaimer if you’re watching this from another country. I am only speaking of American feminism of third-wave feminism, basically feminism as it exists right now in 2020. And this video is filmed, there are other countries, you know, that have different progress as far as women’s rights go. For example, I was watching a video about feminism in India, and the woman that was giving the talk, she was talking about, I guess there was a recent case, I don’t know how recent but there was a woman who was burned alive because she didn’t have enough dowry money. That’s horrible. And so, you know there’s still work to be done as far as women being treated fairly. You know, that’s a horrible injustice. And so, you know, I’m not gonna judge anyone, if you’re watching this from another country, maybe some sort of women’s rights movement is justified in your country. You know, there could be things that are still needed to ensure that women are treated fairly and justly. And so you know, if you’re from another country, this is not directed at you, you know, do what you got to do. This is just for American feminism. And so without further ado, I’m going to get into it. I’m just going to stay in my lane and only talk about American feminism because I’m an American, and have lived here all my life. That’s all I know. And all I feel like I’m qualified to speak on. So if you’re from another country, this usually probably doesn’t apply to you.

So having said that like I alluded to earlier, I do feel that American feminism, I guess what’s called third-wave feminism, feminism as it exists right now. I feel it has some problems. I feel there are some areas that went too far. And I feel like we do need to maybe I don’t want to say get with the times, but I do feel that Looking at where we’re at now, you know, we women, we enjoy a lot of freedoms. And I’m not knocking that, you know, women, we can vote, we can have bank accounts, we can open businesses, we can pursue as much education as we want. We have many career fields wide open to us, you know, and there’s good sexual harassment laws, things like that. So as women in America, we have it pretty darn good. And obviously, a lot of work had to be done to get us to that point. And I recognize that you know, as a woman, I have a career, you know, I’ve had to develop a career out of necessity. So I have benefited from feminism and I’m not ignoring that. You know, I do acknowledge that but I do think there are areas and perhaps in some of these gains, there have been some trade-offs made And as a woman who kind of inherited the existing system that we women are operating in, I don’t know if every decision that my mothers and grandmothers have made, I don’t know if those were necessarily decisions I would have made. And I do feel that as a woman in 2020, I think sometimes certain areas of my life have been impacted by really having a say. So these are the areas that I feel are most affected by feminism, and that I think or maybe affected detrimentally.

First Reason – Too Much Man-Hating

On this channel, we tend to talk a lot or we will be talking a lot about what I like to think of maybe the more traditional side of womanhood, I think, well, we’ll get into that. We’ll get into that. That’ll be one of our reasons. So, the first reason I think is this is the first reason I think there’s a little too much man-hating going on. To drive forward a lot of the ideals of feminism, there was a lot of talk about the patriarchy. And the fact that men are problematic, why would you want to marry one, they’re all trying to keep us down this and that. And I think that’s very divisive and polarizing, it separates men and women from each other. And I don’t think that’s good. You know, in all parts of life, you have to work with men in some capacity, either they’re your husband, and you’re working with them very closely and intimately, or, you’re going to school with them, you’re in the workplace working with them. And I don’t think it serves us to believe in a patriarchy, and that there’s some conspiracy of men to keep us down. I know that’s controversial, because the fact that there’s a patriarchy is something that is accepted without question nowadays, this is one of those ideas. I feel like feminism in the 60s. It was a movement, it was a revolutionary movement. You know, there were a lot of ideas that were just totally unlike what was in the culture. But I feel like in 2020 we have not so much revolutionized things and are progressing on new fronts.

These ideas have permeated our culture and us Women Grow up breathing it in and living our life according to these feminist lines when we don’t even really realize it. And one of these ideas that have been fairly accepted in our culture, is the idea that there’s patriarchy that men are trying to keep us down. And I would just like to say that I don’t believe that I think the patriarchy is a bit of an urban legend. And here’s why I think that while I agree there are men who are jerks. They don’t want to see women succeed. There are a lot of men that don’t feel that way. And they do want women to succeed. And they do appreciate the contributions we’ve made, and that we do make. And they appreciate our contributions in the workplace, in education in all fields of endeavor that women have entered. And I don’t think it’s accurate to say that men should just be hated and feared across the board. I think it’s very important that when we talked about the patriarchy in one of the other videos I talked about truth is about making distinctions. And I think with this concept, there needs to be a distinction made between good men and bad men. You can’t just say, well, there’s patriarchy and men are trying to keep us down. And they’ve arranged society according to what’s convenient for them,, I don’t believe that, you know, now in America, there are other countries where there’s a problem, you know, and I can see a case being made for, you know, a patriarchal system that’s keeping women down and oppressing them. But in America in 2020, I think we need to get with the times a little bit. I want to be harsh, but I think we need to get with the times and realize that there is no patriarchy in America.

There are good men and there are bad men, and you avoid the bad men, the ones that are insecure and sexist, and they don’t like women. Some men just don’t like women and usually, it’s because they’re incompetent in some way, and they’re insecure and women make them feel nervous, and they would just rather that we fit in a nice little box and do what we’re told and that’s that. That’s a problem with that particular man or men. You don’t work with men like that you don’t date men like that, you know, you don’t associate with men like that. don’t force yourself to have this self-fulfilling prophecy that like, oh, all men are bad. And you know, if, if you run into one of those men, it doesn’t serve you to tell yourself, well, that’s the patriarchy. That’s how old men are. Because then, you’re going to block yourself from recognizing the good men out there who could help you. We all need each other. This is not necessarily an indictment against women that Oh, you need a man to help you. People need each other to help each other. You know a man is a social creature. Humans are social creatures, and we all rely on each other male or female. And in many situations, you may be in a position where you are going to rely on a man for help in some way. Maybe it’s your career. Maybe you’re interviewing with men for a role, you know, a job, you’re going to be relying on those men somewhat too, you know, observe you and give you a good recommendation on whether they should hire you or not.

Maybe you’re in the workplace and you’re already working. And you know, you’re on a project and you’re working with a man, to a certain extent, you’re going to rely on him to do his job so that you can do your job. That’s just the way life works. And if you’re going to assume that there’s a patriarchy, that there’s a conspiracy, that every man is trying to keep you down, that is not going to allow you to have the open mind you need to recognize the opportunities and the good men out there that you can. But yeah, you know, yeah, you keep it, you have to keep your eyes open for opportunity. And I feel like you can’t do that. If you’re setting up. You know, there’s something in psychology called observational bias. And it’s the idea that when you’re studying human behavior, You have to work hard to keep an open mind. Because if you observe something, it can become very easy to let that observation become a bias. And then it guides what else you start observing. And I do feel that if you’re going to believe in a patriarchy, you’re setting up a little observational bias. And you’re going to start looking for things that prove that. So yeah, men and women should work together. And I agree, there are bad men out there, but you need to avoid them, and work with the good men. And then that will kind of, there’s a saying let failures fail. You know, let these men go be failures and be jerks off by themselves. Don’t work with them. Don’t give them your time or your energy. Just leave them alone, like they deserve, only work with good people. If you’re in a company, they’re sexist. Like I’ve been working since I was 18. Believe me, there are companies out there that yes, they’re sexist, no matter what you do, the men don’t listen to your ideas. I’ve had my ideas blown off in meetings, I’ve been overlooked. I’ve experienced Yeah, a lot of sexism. But you don’t work for those companies, you leave them, you go interview at other places where you go where you’re treated best.

If you’re going to be stuck in this idea of patriarchy, you’re never going to grow. And I just feel like you’re going to limit your options in life. again, in America. I feel like women’s progress is at a point where this patriarchy idea like I said, I think it’s an urban legend. I don’t believe in it. You know, and I think it just narrows our options and our growth as women. So just my opinion on that.

Second Reason – Destroying Our Ability to Have Fulfilling Relationships

Second thing, that I think feminism is not helping us as women. It’s destroying our ability to have fulfilling relationships and get married. in the 60s, we had the whole sexual revolution, women were, you know, allowed to not have shame about their bodies, about sex. And, you know, it kind of removes a lot of the morality and social judgment around, sexual experimentation. You know, I could call it sleeping around, but that has a connotation of kind of like a derogatory connotation. And for the sake of argument, I want to keep this fairly neutral. So we’ll just call it sexual experimentation. But in a way, it legitimizes that, and I would make the argument that has been a net loss for women. That has not been a net gain. Most women want to have a permanent relationship. They want a permanent commitment from a man. And while there are a minority of women that maybe have benefited from the sexual revolution and sometimes that minority can be quite vocal, you know, the success of the movement, I think needs to be judged on whether the majority of people have benefited from it. And I feel like, for women, the majority of us have not. And I think a perfect example of that is the hookup culture.

It’s every man for himself. And women are treated like pieces of meat, have you gone on Tinder? Lots of men, they’re just calling, they’re just hitting you up because they think it’s a sex delivery app. You know, they don’t care about getting to know you. They just want to sleep with you and be done. You know, a lot of women are going on to that app, thinking, Oh, well, I’m trying to find a relationship, you know, and oh, maybe if I sleep with him, it’ll lead to a relationship. And then women are heartbroken when it doesn’t. And it’s because as a culture, I feel like we’ve done women a major disservice in not telling them that male sexuality doesn’t work that way. You know, you can’t sleep with the guy right away and think that you’re going to get a relationship out of it. Yes, sometimes that works. Sometimes women can do that. But I feel like that’s an exception that in a way, I don’t want to say an exception that proves the rule. But it’s an exception. And we should not be living our lives against ideas that only work in an exceptional case, we should live our lives according to ideas that work either all the time or the vast majority of the time. And I feel like we have taught women to behave in ways that work against our best interests. Now, this has been great for men, they’re getting a lot of like free available sex with no responsibility and no commitment. You know, they don’t have to take care of the women they’re sleeping with. They get one stand all the time, you know, they can have a new woman every night if they want. I would argue that hasn’t been healthy for men either. And I’m not talking like from an STD point of view, I’m talking like mentally and emotionally I don’t think that’s healthy for men.

But, you know, it is what it is. And that is what a certain group of men has been quite vocal about wanting and they got it. And I don’t feel that’s been a benefit for women. There also is a lot of women in their 30s and 40s that, lived according to that lifestyle, they didn’t require marriage and commitment before sex. And now they’re single, you know, and they are wondering why, they’ve had a string of relationships that never went anywhere, they never led to the altar. And now these women are single and alone, and they’re bitter. You know this is something we don’t talk about enough. There’s a lot of women who are bitter because they did what society said was okay. And they thought that they were still going to get what they wanted, namely a permanent commitment marriage out of men, and they didn’t. And as a society, we’re doing a disservice when we tell women, sleeping with a lot of men is fine, you know, men should still respect you, they should still want to marry you. They don’t, they don’t want it. Guys. I mean, have you gone on like, if you read forums where guys get together and talk or if you watch some of their YouTube videos, which I do for like research purposes, I’m always interested in hearing like, what the opposite sex thinks about stuff. And they have a name for it. Oh, the body count. What’s her body count? How many women and how many men has she slept with? And if it’s past a certain number, I mean, let’s be real. Most men wish it was zero. But they’re not going to tell you that but yeah, a lot of men they Want to marry a woman that slept with a lot of men? And which is a double standard? I agree. But you know, after what feminism was in the 60s, this is 2020. So we’re looking at like, what, 50/60 years of feminism, that has not changed. And I think that after 60 years, I think we should declare the experiment failed. And we should start looking at some sexual morality. If you’re a woman, and you want to get married, even aside from the religious connotations, maybe give that morality a try. I think there’s something to be said for it. And I think feminism was a bit disingenuous in telling us like, Oh, yeah, you can sleep with lots of men, you could still get married and have what you want. In a lot of cases that has not been what happened. And also you know, there’s cohabiting.

That’s another thing that’s become pretty, pretty common, and normal here. And a lot of women they cohabit and they end up not getting married, and then they get frustrated because they spent three, four or five years with the guy and it didn’t lead to marriage. And that’s something that I think we’re giving away too much to these men, you know, we’re moving in with them. We’re giving him all the benefits of having a wife without us getting what we want. And, you know if you’re watching this, I don’t know what your background is, you may or may not be Catholic. And so, this may be pretty offensive for me to talk about that. You know, and yeah, it’s your life. You know, you can do what you want with it. But I would like to propose that you consider what you’re giving this man What you’re getting in return, not what you’re going to get, not what you’re hoping to get. Not what you’re thinking, well, he loves me and He will give me this later. I want you to think what are you getting now? in return? So when you move in with the guy and you guys are going 50/50. You know, a lot of times you’re keeping your job, and he’s not supporting you. So, he’s getting a pretty sweet deal out of it. You know, he’s getting someone to pay half the bills, he’s getting sex, he’s getting companionship, you know, he’s probably getting housekeeping thrown in there. You know, you’re probably doing some cooking and cleaning. You know, so he’s getting a pretty sweet deal.

But what are you getting? You’re not getting a commitment. You don’t know if he’s going to end things with you in three or four years. And I just think that if we really want to be empowered women, and we want to ensure that we get what we want out of life. I think we need to expect more of Men, and I think there’s something to be said, with the traditional model of not moving in with men until you’re married. And I would go so far as also say, not having sex with men, unless you’re married. And again, I know that that is something that is so. it’s very widespread in our society that we don’t even think about it, you know, it’s kind of like, Well, you know, if you love each other, eventually you’ll sleep together, you know, and marriage may or may not be on the table, I would just like to suggest that maybe you think about that. Again, it’s your life, you can do what you want, you know, and I’m not gonna like judge you or look down on you or whatever, you know, you can do what you want, you’re an adult, but I would just like to humbly suggest some food for thought, something to think about.

Third Reason – Women are Developing Ego Problems

And then the third reason and this is probably the most minor reason on this list, but I do notice that there is becoming A certain where women are developing kind of the ego problems that men had, you know, historically, we’ve always kind of known that men, you know, they got a bit of ego sometimes are a little too full of themselves. I feel like as women to compete with men, we’ve had to develop some of that ourselves. And I think that that’s led to a certain feminine, I don’t want to call it necessarily arrogance, but it has made us kind of argumentative. And you know, we don’t want some of us, some of us, not all of us, but I think some of us depending on our personality, I think we’ve maybe taken it a little too far. And sometimes we can be a little too defiant. And we’re not open to learning from others, you know, even when that person is in a position to teach us something important because maybe we just stuck our foot in our mouth. You know, maybe in the workplace. You have a boss who’s observed something about you, maybe you said something In a meeting, and he wants to pull you aside and be like, hey, or you know, maybe you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend’s pointing something out to you, I do feel that us women, we’ve developed a bit of a chip on our shoulder, and we don’t ever want to learn anything from men. And we can tend to have a bit of that arrogance that men traditionally directed toward women, “no woman’s going to teach me what to do”. And I feel like we’ve kind of flipped that around.

And now we kind of are that way with men, and that was never a good look for men. And it’s not a good look for us either. So I feel like that does lead to a little bit of, I guess I’d call it like unconscious narcissism like men and women. I think we are becoming especially as a culture here in America. We are becoming a little more narcissistic because we don’t want to be told you know that we have areas of improvement and I think that that can hamper us in the long term, it’s important to grow as a person, it’s important to know yourself and, you know, strengthen your weaknesses and be a better person. You know, personal growth is really important. I think sometimes our lack of openness to being corrected is holding us back. So that’s another thing I noticed. And I kind of feel like, when you’re in a situation with a man correcting you, I feel like feminism can be a little bit to blame for that, we’ve got this idea that like, oh, men just want to keep us down. So we don’t want to listen to men at all, even when they have something worthwhile to say. And again, I think that can hold us back. You gotta take it with a grain of salt, you know, a man or a woman if somebody wants to criticize you and be like, Oh, well, I don’t think you should do that at all. I don’t think you handled that. Right. You want to be careful about it. Think about what they’re saying and maybe why they might be saying that, but you know, sometimes people have a point and I think some we dismiss that point a little too readily.

So that is the end of part one. Those are just three of the problems I see with feminism, and why I think we’ve reached a point of diminishing returns with it. I don’t think there is. I feel like we’ve made a lot of progress. I think we’ve almost gotten to the point where we’ve swung to the other extreme. And now the more traditional woman, the more family-oriented woman has not been given a voice. That’s probably a fourth reason, a poor thing I’m concerned about. But anyway, having said that, those are just some of the reasons that I find feminism a little concerning. Again, I’m grateful for the benefits I receive as a woman. You know, don’t get me wrong. I have had a much easier life because of the work women before I have done. But gratitude doesn’t mean A lack of being able to question it, you know, feminism, one of the big things they said was women have a brain and we have a right to think about our lives and state our opinion on it. And so in that spirit, I’m kind of turning that back on feminism and going okay, then I have a right to question this too, you know, if I get to question everything else about life, and everything else about the existing system, while nowadays feminism has become part of the system, so I’m gonna question that too. So anyway, those are my thoughts, food for thought, leave a comment. I’m sure this video is gonna be controversial. So not anything I can do about that. But I just felt this was something that needed to be said. So all right.