Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood today’s gonna be kind of an awkward video. But it needs to be talked about because I think a lot of us didn’t have mothers or aunts to teach us this. And it’s a very, very crucial life skill. So what we’re going to talk about today is how to avoid having sex with a guy. I know some of you may be more religious leaning like me, and you maybe havent told to wait, you know, for marriage before having sex, but nobody tells you how to do that on a concrete basis. So that’s what we’re going to talk about in this video. This is going to be the first of two we’re gonna make one about kind of the obvious ways and then the not so obvious ways. So here we go.

Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood. Happy Thomistic Tuesday, or whenever you see this, we’re going to be talking about how to avoid having sex with a guy, this I feel is an awkward video to make. And honestly, I don’t know how to make it without making it sound prudish. Sex is a good thing. I’m not saying it’s bad.

But for those of us who want to wait until we’re married, or even if maybe you’re not religious, or you think the whole waiting for marriage is silly, but you had to hook up with some guy, he never called back, it was a devastating experience. And you don’t want to repeat that then this is your video, we’re going to talk about how to not have sex with the guy. There are loads of videos out there. websites, articles, video channels, that will tell you how to have sex with the guy how to be good in bed, how to be seductive, but nobody talks about the opposite.

Now once you’re married, yeah, you know, you want to have some skill in the bedroom. That’s cool. But right now, if you’re single and you’re dating, it is very much in your interest to hold off on it on the sexual aspect of your relationship. And even some secular non religious dating coaches will talk about that. I think even Steve Harvey says don’t sleep with a guy, at least for three months. So this is not something just religious people are talking about after the sexual revolution, we have all this like free easy sex. You know, people are realizing like, hey, maybe that’s not a good idea. So today, we’re going to talk about kind of the obvious stuff like what to do when you’re maybe on a date with a guy or how to handle it if he’s like pushing for more. And then in the next video, we’ll go, we’re gonna do two videos on this topic. The next video will be the less obvious things kind of the internal preparation factors about you.

Number 1: Don’t spend the night with a guy

This video is about you and him. So the first one that we’re going to talk about is don’t spend the night with a guy. Again, in today’s day and age spending the night is often seen as no big deal. But don’t spend the night with the guy. You’re just asking for temptation. Men are very sexual creatures. Okay, I think they did a study and they said that men think about sex, like every 52 seconds. And women think about sex, maybe like once a day. So they just have a lot of hormones, they’re biologically different than women. And they want to have sex. And if you put them in a situation where you’re spending the night with a guy, and you’re, you know, maybe sharing a bed with him, even if he says nothing will happen or whatever, just don’t put yourself in that situation. Just don’t even say no to that.

Number 2: Don’t come over to his apartment alone

Number two, don’t come over to his apartment alone, or hang out alone at your apartment. This is why a lot of Netflix and chill or Hey, come over my apartment and let’s just cuddle, or Hey, why don’t you come over and I’ll make you dinner and we can hang out at my apartment. Guys should be dating you in public places, they should be taking you out on a date. They should be spending money on you, they should buy you a coffee or they should buy you dinner. They should not be doing this stuff where it’s like, oh, just come over my apartment. No, that’s that’s not okay. And, not only is it kind of showing, like, Hey, I’m a low effort guy, I don’t want to put much effort into wooing you and getting you it can be a very sexual temptation because you guys are alone together. There’s no one to watch what’s going on. And there’s no third party to like, maybe think, because people are social. We’re worried about judgment. We don’t want other people to be like, what are you doing, that’s why guys are not going to make a move on you in public. They’re going to do it when you’re alone. So that’s why Yeah, don’t don’t be alone with guys. They should be dating you in public places.

Number 3: Don’t have long makeout sessions

Number three, don’t have long makeout sessions, I think that you should avoid kissing with tongue altogether, I understand that’s a pretty extreme view, maybe to some of you, it used to be the norm in dating. And if you’re Catholic, it can be considered a pretty serious sin. If you’re doing these big makeout sessions that you’re passionate about, you know, these passionate kisses, that’s wrong, and you shouldn’t be doing that. So for those of you that maybe aren’t, maybe you’re not religious, and you’re just watching this, still, I would encourage you not to have these, like passionate kissing with tongue sessions, because what that’s going to do is it’s going to rile up both of you, and it’s going to make you want to go farther. Kissing with tongue should be considered foreplay, it really should, because that’s what it is, I know, we don’t consider it that way. And I know some of you may be like, Well, I can kiss the guy with tongue and it doesn’t turn me on. And, okay, that’s fine. But it will often turn on the guy, and it can lead him to kind of physically push you for more. And so just having these big makeout sessions, that just can get you guys riled up. And it’s just going to put you in a situation where you’re going to have to put the brakes on something, and it can be really hard to do that. So don’t, don’t even put yourself in that situation, try to avoid doing that.

Number 4: Don’t spend a lot of time alone with him

Number four, don’t spend a lot of time alone with him. Back in the day, people used to call this getting into a scrape, you know, like in the 30s. And 40s, women would say, Oh, I got a scrape with this guy, and it’s when you ended up alone with some guy, maybe in a room or in a car, and it was considered a compromising situation for women. Now, thankfully, society has progressed to the fact that we know a woman’s not like a slut or something, and she’s alone with a guy, because in workplace situations, often you have to be alone, maybe you have to have a one on one meeting with your boss to discuss your performance or things like that. And you’ll often be alone with men. So it’s not in itself a bad thing. And it can be a very normal part of society nowadays. However, when you’re dating someone, and there is a sexual attraction there as it should be, you should date people you consider hot, because if you’re going to get married and have kids with them, you need to pick somebody that you feel like procreating with. So there’s nothing wrong if you think a guy’s hot, however, it does make it risky to spend a lot of time alone with him. Now, I’m assuming you’re going to pick an honorable guy, and he’s somebody you can be alone with, and he’s not gonna, like hurt you. But at the same time, as I said, For number two, you know, don’t be at his apartment alone, again, just be careful about it, you know, don’t hang out in his car alone, or your car alone after a day, and have these long conversations alone in the car, or after a party, you know, maybe you’re at a house party, and you guys just ended up in a room alone together in a discussion. And next thing, you know, everybody else in the conversation left, you guys are alone, be aware of that it can be a bit of a risk, o just something to be aware of,

Number 5: Don’t hang out with him past 9pm

Don’t, let’s see, what’s the next one, don’t hang out with him past 9pm. There are some bio and a lot of biochemical processes in our brains that shift after 8pm. And then that those chemicals can lower our resistance and our inhibitions. And they make it a lot easier to sleep with someone. And that’s why back in the day, there used to be a rule, I think it was like “nice girls don’t date past 8pm or something”. I think 8pm might be a little extreme, I’d say maybe more like nine or 10pm because let’s be real, a lot of movies start at like seven. So the exact time I think there’s a little wiggle room on it. But again, if it starts becoming like 930-10pm, you should probably be getting home. This is about common decency, he should get you home at a decent hour. So you get enough sleep, if he expects you to be out, you know, till midnight, one in the morning, you’re going to be exhausted the next day, so it can also be just basic consideration. Guys should get you home at about 9pm so that you have time to get ready for bed and go to sleep, and wake up refreshed the next day, but again, there is also a side reason that mentally in our brain and our inhibitions sex will often happen easier late at night. That’s just the way our bodies are designed. So it’s something to be aware of.

Number 6: Don’t drink with him

The next one, don’t drink with him. Alcohol is an aphrodisiac. It can lower our inhibitions. I think most of us know this. not drinking with a guy tends to be a common one, I think if anybody’s going to give practical tips on how to not sleep with the guy, alcohol, I think is the one thing that does come up. So many of you probably know that. So, there’s nothing new about this. Don’t drink with guys, it can lower your inhibitions. A lot of pickup artists, you know, they want you drinking, they want you loosened up, not even, I mean, I’m not even talking if they like to spike your drink. If they spike your drink, that’s super dangerous. But even if they don’t, alcohol just has aphrodisiac properties. And in case you don’t know, aphrodisiac, is something that makes your body want sex, it turns on those like sexual processes in your body. So anything that’s an aphrodisiac will do that. And alcohol does have some aphrodisiac type properties, you don’t want to drink alcohol with guys, if you’re having dinner, and you’re out with some guy and you want to have like a little glass of champagne, or you’re having a nice meal, and you want to have a little glass of red wine or something different. But, if you’re on an empty stomach, and you meet a guy at a bar, and you’re drinking, or maybe you already had a drink, and you’re starting to feel a little fuzzy, stop there. Don’t put yourself at risk.

Number 7: Be careful. When a guy’s telling you all these sweet nothings

The next one, and this is a big one. This is something women used to know back in the day, this is old wisdom that women used to know that we are completely never been told nowadays. But women, we all know men get turned on by what they see. Have you ever thought about what women get turned on by?

We get turned on by what we hear. So when we hear a guy whispering these like romantic things in our ear, and oh, I would never make you uncomfortable. And you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. No one touches me the way you do. Things like that look romantic, sweet nothings. When men are turned on, they can naturally get very romantic like that. Most men can be pretty romantic. it’s not a lot of people are like, oh, men are just like these insensitive like, I don’t think that’s true. A lot of men are very romantic. And when they get turned on, they kind of like, let that side of them out. And then yeah, they say things to you that are very romantic. Like, you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. You just touched my life in such a special way. And those things are very arousing for us women, who don’t want to be told that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him and that no one’s ever touched him like that.

For us women. That’s that means a lot to us. And our sex drive is designed to be triggered by men we can bond with and we can stay with. And so when we hear that they love us, then we think oh, this is somebody to have sex with you know, it’s instinctive. It’s the way we’re wired. And so be careful about what you let the sky say to you in these intimate moments. When you’re alone in the car, and it’s late at night or something, or just when you guys are alone together? A lot of times, men often say it sincerely,they don’t realize it’s risky. But other men Do. A lot of pickup artists know this about women. And that’s why they will deliberately say things to you to get you riled up. Because they know women are like this, they don’t know why they just know that that happens. So they do that. So be careful. When a guy’s telling you all these sweet nothings, be aware that it may start turning you on and it may put you in a compromising situation. So be aware of that if you don’t want to hurt his feelings, you know, because it could be a sincere expression and you’re feeling a little uncomfortable with it. You don’t necessarily want to shut them down. Just maybe tell them like, you know, that’s so romantic. I love love letters. Could you maybe write it down? maybe ask for that? I don’t know, just an idea. It’s up to you, you think of the situation. But be careful what you let these men say to you, because us women, we get turned on by what we hear.

And this is something our modern society doesn’t tell women. Our society tells us that we’re like men. Oh, you should watch porn too. And you should be messing with sex toys, too. And you should be like men. No, we’re not like men. We get turned on by what we hear when somebody tells us these super romantic things. We get turned on by that. So that’s pretty much. those are the external things. Those are the things that come into play when you’re out and about associating with him.

Again, I don’t know how to say this kind of stuff without it not sounding prudish. Sex is a beautiful thing. But sex is like fire. It can do well in a fireplace. You know when it warms the house. You can cook your food on it, but take it out of the fireplace, take it out of marriage, and it can burn your house down. Maybe some of you watching this, you had a sexual relationship, and maybe it profoundly affected your life, and maybe you regret it. And so, you can attest that, yeah, it is like fire. So again, these are concrete ways to avoid sleeping with a guy, it’s a skill you need to have because men are very hormonal, even the good guy there is most honorable, he’s going to have a weak moment where his hormones kind of take them over. I liken it to temporary insanity. You know, when men get turned on, they don’t know what they’re saying anymore. They get to a point where they just really lose control, and they don’t know what they’re doing. It’s just the way they’re designed biologically. And, we often see this in war as well, sometimes, soldiers have reported that in the heat of battle, and it just got really bad. And they thought their life was in danger. Some of them are like, I don’t know what I was doing. I just went off and like, just started firing everyone. You know, men get like this, if they get in an intense enough situation, they can kind of lose control of themselves. So I don’t want to scare you. You know, men are normal, decent human beings. Most men are good. Although nowadays, you have to be careful, I’d say it’s like 5050. There’s a lot more roguish jerk guys out there. But I don’t want this to make you scared. And oh, I can’t talk to a guy. You know, don’t take it like that, you know. But for those of you that, you know, you’re confident with men, you want to go on dates, but you’re a little worried about this whole, like, I don’t know how to, like, you know, what, if I get in a situation, I don’t know how to say no, these are the ways to avoid these situations.

Ideally, my goal in this video is to teach you the situations to avoid. So you’re not at that moment where you’ve got this guy like two inches away from you, and you’re having this awkward conversation of like, I don’t want to do that. Let’s not let’s stop, you know, maybe you’ve been making out with him for a while and you’re like, you know, That’s enough, let’s put the brakes on it. That can be a really difficult, awkward conversation. And, sometimes you can avoid it all together by avoiding the things that lead to it. And so in this video, we’re talking about the things that lead to it. So again, this is for those of you that want to save sex for marriage, or for any reason you want to delay, you want to not have sex with the guy, especially one that you think is hot and you want to paste the relationship. These are some concrete ways to do that. There you go. I’d imagine this is probably an awkward topic. So if you have questions, feel free to leave a comment. And yeah, you know, like, share, subscribe, you know, do all the things.