Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood. In today’s video we are going to talk about Don’t be a “Pick Me Girl” and some of you may not know what that is but we’re gonna get into that today plus we’re gonna watch a pretty horrifying clip somebody had I think it was on Instagram so yeah.

Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood. Happy Thomistic Tuesday or whenever you’re seeing this. In today’s video, we are going to talk about the phenomenon of being a “Pick Me Girl” or “Pick Me”. I saw a video about this today on YouTube, and I had to make a video about it. There’s a girl who she’s very feminist, and she’s talking about the “Pick Me Girl” phenomenon. So while I didn’t agree with everything, she said, some of what she said was true. And there was a video that she showed within her YouTube video, it looks like it was a video from Instagram or Facebook. And she played that within her YouTube video. And I found it pretty disturbing. I’m hoping this woman just lost a bet. But this may be real. And I’m going to show you this video in a few minutes. But this is going to kind of discuss a broader topic. And it’s no secret that on this channel I kind of bash feminism and that is what it is. There are certain things that I’m very skeptical of with feminism, there are certain things I think are harmful about it. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that it’s good that we can vote, it’s good that we can hold jobs, certain things like that, like first and second-wave feminism, I’m okay with that.

But a lot of third-wave feminism, the feminism we have here, I think is very harmful. However, having said that, I’m going to take this video clip, and I’m going to use it as an illustration of what not to do on the other extreme, there is a saying called True flies in the middle or truth is in the mean. And what that means is the true course of action is often in the middle between two extremes. And so we have the extreme of feminism and the rejection of men and the rejection of any kind of male authority, but let’s not swing to the other extreme and go to an overly docile and an overly submissive attitude. So we’re going to play this clip, I’m going to stop the footage of me and we’re going to put the clip up on the side. And then we’re going to play that and then you can see for yourself kind of how sickening it is. So here we go.

So I think you can agree that’s pretty disturbing. This guy’s acting like a grown child. I feel sorry for the girl you can even see halfway through the video. She’s tired of standing and has to sit. So yeah. This is a sickening video. However, it does bring up an extreme attitude. Well, you say that women shouldn’t be feminists and you say that we should submit to men and you say this, you say that? Isn’t this what it looks like? No, we all know instinctively. That’s not what it looks like. However, in our desire to avoid the extremes of a somewhat feminist mindset maybe the negative aspects of feminism to avoid that we don’t want to swing to the other extreme. As I was mentioning earlier, the truth lies in the middle. And there is an old-timey word called chauvinism, that I think is very apparent in that video clip we just watched. And I like the word chauvinism better than the word misogyny. misogyny seems to kind of have some woke connotations, and I feel like when we say like misogyny, it kind of brings up or sexism even, it kind of almost, at least for me, the term has kind of been polluted, in that there are often things that I think are okay, that are often grouped under the heading of misogyny and sexism, so I feel like that words been watered down a little bit. And I like the word chauvinism. Because it is the old-fashioned word for this kind of thing. Before there was feminism, believe it or not, you know, there were sanctions on male behavior, there were things called chauvinist, which were men that were frowned on, because they didn’t respect women, and they thought women were there to serve them. And this video clip is a clear example, this girl is like, clearly bending over backward to like, serve the sky. And it’s sickening, that’s not an appropriate way to act. So I just wanted to bring up the “Pick Me” phenomenon where women will do this kind of thing, they will give men too much, there’s too much catering to men.

Obviously, in a good relationship, good relationship, both people influence each other. And there’s a give and take, sometimes you’re the one in the taker role, you’re receiving, and a man’s doing things for you. And then other times the role is going to shift a little bit, and you’re going to do things for him. But it should be, somewhat equal, and going back and forth. You can see in the video clip that’s not the case is too extreme on the side of the guy, I do notice in a lot of conservative and Christian conservative circles, and Catholic conservative circles, there can be this Pick Me spirit, in our desire to reject feminism and be a more traditional woman, sometimes we can go to the other extreme we can cater to men too much, you know, that is a valid criticism, one of the few valid criticisms that feminism has made, they’ll point to things like this video, and they’ll say, well, that’s terrible. That’s why you need feminism to protect you from this kind of thing. And I disagree. That is just a misapplication and misunderstanding of the role of women. And it’s often men who are immature and have something to gain who try to push that down impression.

So there’s a couple of causes to it. And I think one of them if you look at Genesis 3:16, there’s a Bible verse where we have the fall, Adam and Eve ate the apple. And I think sometimes the “Pick Me” spirit can come from something that is often attributed to the curse that everybody got when they sinned, and it says here, Genesis 3:16, when God curses Adam and Eve, everybody gets a punishment, both of them get punishment for eating the apple. And for the woman’s punishment, I will multiply thy sorrow and thy conceptions, in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children, and now shalt be under thy husband’s power, and he shall have dominion over thee this verse is also sometimes translated as your desire will be until your husband. And I do think that this is the root problem of behavior like we saw in that video clip. We women, due to our fallen human nature, in our fear and insecurity in both ourselves and just in the outside world. 

Sometimes we can get insecure and we can make men into a bit of an idol and we can work too hard to impress them, we can try with a lot of these like “Pick Me” girls, they’re all over. I think sometimes girls that have some sort of face, let’s be real, sometimes we think we’re better. And we go, Well, I have the faith and I don’t chase after guys and blah, blah, blah. And it’s like, do you? Maybe you’re not like showing off your butt on Instagram? But are you over trying to prove to men how well you can cook? Are you overly trying to prove demand like how virtuous you are? Do you brag about your purity? Do you brag about your modesty? Do you brag about your housekeeping skills, things like that, that can be a bit of this pick me attitude? And I know I don’t want to be critical because I’ve done it too. We’ve all done it. But it’s just something to keep in mind. We must treat men in their natural position, their natural spot, and we don’t want to make them a God. We don’t want to make them the absolute center of our life. The only man that deserves that is Christ.

However, we don’t want to, you know, make them too low and dismiss them and despise them. So it’s something to keep in mind. Like I said in our desire to reject the excesses of feminism, let’s not embrace chauvinism. Let’s not act like we are somehow inferior to men and therefore we have to compensate for that by being overly-anxious about a man’s opinion of us or being overly catering to him, I think also St. Thomas discusses in the Summa, he talks about kind of the role of women a little bit. And I think it’s very pertinent to this video because in the video we see in excess, so in the Summa, this is the Good Book, not the Bible Good Book, the other good book. So this is Volume One. This is the third article, question 92, the production of the woman so he has a whole section on, you know, God made the woman a lot of questions about women. And somebody was saying whether the woman whether it was appropriate that the woman was made from the rib of Adam, and he says something that I think is pertinent to the “Pick Me” discussion, he says, There was, you know, people were kind of claiming that like, Oh, she wasn’t made from his rib or this and that, and he goes, I answer that, it was right for the woman to be made from a rib of man first, to signify the social union of man and woman for the woman should neither use authority over a man and so she was not made from his head. So she’s not better than him. So she’s not made from his head, nor was it right for her to be subject to man’s contempt as his slave. And so she was not made from his feet. And we can see in that video, a perfect example of a woman being kind of held in contempt as a slave, you can see from the way the guy talks to her, he’s just issuing commands and she’s just scrambling to do it. This is a perfect example of what he was talking about. That’s, that’s not appropriate. We all know it instinctively. She’s not made from a man’s feet. So she’s not like the dirt that he tramples on. And so I think St. Thomas gives a very balanced view, he’s often been accused of being a misogynist. I’ll make another video where we’ll dive into that a little deeper, and maybe we’ll post it up here. But I think this article is a pretty good refutation that the woman was made from his rib. She’s there to be his helpmate.

Now, sometimes people misinterpret a helpmate, as a servant, and then they see the things in that video and they say, Well, you know, maybe that video is a little extreme, but the idea is the same. And it’s like, no, it’s not, a woman was made of his rib. You know, she’s not a slave. She’s not made from his feet. But you know, she’s not better than him. She’s not from his head. She’s made from his rib. She’s meant to be like his sidekick. And I think the sidekick we see like Batman and Robin, you know, is Robin necessarily better than Batman? No, but he’s there to help Batman. There’s a lot of things Batman can’t do without Robin there. He supplements Batman’s abilities and powers. So you know, the woman’s the sidekick. And that’s literally why she’s made from his side, from a rib. So having said that, I saw that video. I wanted to make my video too bad. YouTube doesn’t do video responses anymore. For those of you that are like an old school who remember YouTube back in like, 2005 they used to have video responses. So too bad but yeah, I just wanted to make this video. Don’t be a pick me.

Sometimes, women will sit there and ask men. Oh, am I wearing too much makeup? Is it okay? Do you like me? Like, don’t do anything overboard. I don’t try too hard for men’s approval. You know, they don’t respect that. Just as you know, would you respect a man who did that? Like no. Let’s all have some self-respect here and be balanced about it. So anyway, those are my thoughts on it. I hope this is helpful. Leave a comment if you want and I will talk to you later.