There’s also going from like an archetypal level, if we want to maybe some of the differences between men and women, we’re looking like psychologically physically, you know, at a very, very basic level, maybe even almost like a symbolic level. Men are designed to be soldiers and women are designed to be mothers. And that might sound sexist, you know, like, how dare you say women are designed to be mothers, you know, like, yes, we can do so many other things. It’s true.

Men can do so many other things. It’s true. But when you look at us on a very basic level, if you think of it that way, suddenly, a lot of things will fall into place and start to make sense. If men are designed to be protectors and kind of warriors. Now you understand why sometimes they’re a little insensitive, they don’t consider people’s feelings sometimes. And that’s because, you know, men, they’re designed to be protectors, you can’t protect someone, if you’re over there looking at your enemy and thinking, Oh, man, if I bash his skull in with my club, that’s gonna hurt him, you know, like, you can’t, you’re not gonna win any worse like that, you know? So, you know, men, I don’t want to say they’ve evolved this way. You know, I feel like this is kind of just how men are. But, you know, that’s an example.

Another thing, men are very strategic, you know, especially in the workplace. If you listen to men talk, or you listen, you know, if you have a father or a brother, and they ever tell you their plans about something, pay attention, they can often be very clever about putting themselves maneuvering themselves into a good position. You know, this is why men, partly why men, this is not the whole reason. But this is part of the reason why men tend to make more money than women. It is not like a systemic sexism problem. And I know I’m probably going to get a bunch of hate comments for this. But the wage gap is not. Yes, there are workplaces where Yeah, the men don’t want to pay women a fair wage, and they’re jerks, and they’re holding them down. Yes, there are workplaces where that happens, I’m not denying that. But in general, while there are many reasons, I don’t think sexism is one of them. But one of the reasons is that men are more strategic, they look at the careers that make the most money, and they tend to go for those careers. Even if they pick something that is predominantly female-dominated, you know, like nursing, they will look at what are the subfields within nursing where they make the most money. And they tend to go into those fields.

And it’s just it’s something that men are more strategic about, women are much more giving and nurturing. And we tend to by default, think of the other person, you know, I remember one time when I was in, and this could just be me being too agreeable. But whatever. I’m sure a lot of you watching have had a similar situation happen. But I had a boss give me some really good advice during a performance review, it was time to set our annual goals for what we were going to work on for that year. And he said, only put down goals that are going to be easy to accomplish. If it looks like it might be hard, don’t put it down. And I was like, what a brilliant idea. I never did that. I just thought of the company first. And I was like, Well, what would the team need? What would be best for everybody that I work on? I mean, now it’s like my default position. So that really kind of opened my eyes and I was like, Is this how men do that? Well, no wonder guys are constantly getting promoted. They’re only putting down things that they know they can easily do. And meanwhile, I’m over here like Miss altruistic, like thinking of objectively Oh, well, what needs to be done? What is the biggest pressing problem around here that you know, what’s the biggest mess that needs to be cleaned up? And I’m putting that down and no guys are out here like oh, who cares? Like what can I accomplish the easiest and best and that you know so that’s an example of what I’m talking about. Guys are more strategic.

So yeah, and again, being a soldier and a protector, they have to be strategic. They have to look at the enemy, find the weak spots and then get in there women so we can develop that ability. You know, I’m not saying we can’t be like that. And you know, some women can be very strategic, but when you look, in general, at the population of women, on average, men tend to do this quicker and intuitively than women do. And then going back to this, when you look at a mother, if a mother was strategic with her newborn, would that help the newborn? No, it wouldn’t. You know, if you were like, well, I’ve discovered that, you know, I get optimal milk production, if I only nurse the baby, every six hours, yes, the baby cries every three hours. But, you know, if I wait a few extra hours, I can get more milk built up, and then the baby gets more food at once leading to fewer nursing sessions overall, and a more efficient feeding schedule, you know, like, women don’t think like that. Because, you know, if we did, the baby would probably not grow properly, because it wouldn’t be getting as many nutrients and you know, things like that, and then the baby would cry. And it’s more stressful for the baby. And like, who knows what that psychologically does to the kid, you know? So, you know, again, women, we’re not strategic, we just what’s the most pressing problem, oh, the baby’s crying, let me go nurse, the baby, we don’t get very strategic, we, whatever the baby needs, whatever the newborn needs, we give it what it needs.

You know, when you look at mothers, again, we’re looking at this from an archetypal point of view. When you look at a mother with her child, we are not strict, women are not strategic with their children, they just give whatever the kid needs. And that’s how children grow up to be like, you know, healthy and balanced. You know, that’s what you have to do for a kid whose fathers have to do it too. You know, if a father was strategic with his children, sometimes fathers do that. And children, they’re worse off for it, you know, any parent, male or female just gives, you know, a good parent just gives. And again, that’s, that is a tendency women have. And, you know, when you view them in that way, like women were designed, you know, in a biological sense, people often talk about the caveman’s brain, you know, if we go back to human beings, you know, we still have our caveman instincts. You know, like, yes, we’re civilized, and we live in technological societies, but at heart, you know, we’re all caveman thinking. You know, like, I’ve heard that said, there’s some truth to it. So if you think of that, just remember that men are designed to be soldiers, and women are designed to be mothers. And if you understand that, a lot of the quirks about men and women suddenly make sense. Now, that’s not to say that men are only good for going off to war and dying. It’s not what I’m talking about. But it is a kind of shorthand way to understand the basic differences and the basic, like psychological orientation. Men and women seem to have food for thought on that. Let’s see what else Oh, goal. And task-oriented men tend to be very goal-oriented, they tend to focus on tasks, and just knocking them out quickly, women often tend to be more people and feelings oriented, you know, we’re more into the process and the experience of something, rather than just the goal, I hinted at this earlier, when I talked about how men and women approach relationships, women were into the process, we want to get to know you, we want to have that togetherness and that experience, you know, and having fun together and feeling connected to each other.

You know, for us, it’s about the journey, not the destination, you know, men, it’s about the goal, I’m going to make her happy, I’m going to be useful, I’m going to solve her problems done, you know, they’re not into, like, the whole feelings process, you know, and if you explain that to a man, he’s gonna be like, What? What do you mean? Like, you know, like, I took you on a date, and you’re happy now. And I’m happy. Like, that’s all I need, you know, like they don’t, you know, so guys think of it differently. This is also why men are often more focused on getting sex and women are focused on having a relationship. You know, this is where those different orientations coming guys, they want to score done, I accomplished my goal. Women were not like that, you know. So again, that is another difference between men and women. So having said all that, it is important to know that about men, because a lot of times, a lot of misunderstanding happens during dating or in marriage, simply because a man expects his girlfriend or wife to act like a man and she doesn’t and then he gets upset. Or a woman will expect her boyfriend or husband to act like a woman and he doesn’t and then she gets upset, you know, so we both need to understand each other, you know, so obviously, this channel is talking to women. So we’re going to be focusing on these differences.

From the female point of view, but men need to know it too. This is not a lopsided thing, men, you know, they need to learn about women, and they need to understand our differences as well, you know, because this is why men, often get frustrated with women when we’re upset about something because in their mind, it’s she just wants to talk on and on and on. I already heard the information and the details of, you know, the literal details of what happened. But she kept talking after that, and I don’t know how to solve her problem. Well, it’s because we’re different, we need to talk it out. And that’s something that can frustrate men, and I’m sure there are other things that frustrate men about women or baffle them about women, especially in the workplace. A lot of times, I think men assume what can often be called sexism. And people claim Oh, the patriarchy is holding us down. I don’t think that’s always the case. I think that’s rarely the case. But a lot of times when men don’t promote women, it’s not necessarily because they’re consciously trying to hold back women, it’s because they don’t understand how women are different in showing their competence. Men are very, look at me, look at me, here’s what I did. You know, and men are very quick to be like, well, I did this, and I did this, and bla bla bla, women were very, like, communal, we will often say, we did this, we did this project, we you know, and women will often emphasize the togetherness, you know. And what that can often do is it can make women look like they don’t have any initiative, or look like they can’t do anything without help, you know because women don’t like to say, I did this, I did that, you know, in three months, I got this feature shipped in developed, you know, blah, blah, blah, you know, it’s because as women, we just naturally focus on the social and communal aspect of it. And we will often say we when it was I.

How many times have you done that in the workplace, you don’t want to seem like you’re bragging. So you’ll go well, you know, somebody goes, why are you doing an amazing job, you know, and you’ll go well, I had help from the team. You know, it was a team effort. Wasn’t really, maybe it wasn’t. And I think a lot of times women will naturally do that. And it can make us look like we’re less capable, you know, in the workplace. It can make us lose credit for accomplishments, you know, because we’re just, we will downplay ourselves. Men don’t have a problem, you know, taking credit for things that they did. Some men will take credit even for things they didn’t do. But in general, yeah. If somebody goes, Wow, those are great job. A man will go Yeah, thanks. Thanks. I think it turned out good, too. You know, women will often go home. Well, it was the team or Yeah, it was the team effort, you know, instead of just smiling, going, Yeah, thanks. You know, smile and say, thanks. So I think that is often a reason women don’t get promoted. But yeah, food for thought, This is not about work. This is about relationships.

But that’s just an example of what I mean, and how, you know, men often don’t understand that about women, you know, and so they, they take it at face value, and they go, Oh, it was a team effort. Like, why? Why did you need a team to do that? I mean, I would have done that by myself, you know, they don’t understand. Another way is women are very self-deprecating. We don’t know how to do something. We will often exaggerate it to make a joke, you know, like, oh, man, I’m such an idiot. Like, it took me four hours to figure this out. Oh, you know, or Oh, yeah, I just like, you know, like, let’s say you, you get given a presentation. And you’re like, oh, boy, I hope I can pull this off. You know, because you’re hoping for that encouragement. You know, we’ll often when we’re nervous about something, and we’re unsure of ourselves, we will often like to play up our incompetence, you know, because we’re hoping somebody will come along and go, No, no, you can do it. This presentation. It’s fine. Blah, blah, blah. Women do this all the time with like, with like, our clothes, you know, oh, I look so ugly in this dress. No, girl, you look great, or, but my hair’s just really frizzy. No, no, your hair looks fine. Do you notice how women do that? We put ourselves down because we’re hoping the other person will jump in and go, No, no, you’re great. You know, this is how we build each other up, you know, we put ourselves down so the other one can jump in and build us up. And it’s a way of connecting. However, that backfires in the workplace. Because if you’re like talking to a guy, and you’re like, oh, man, I don’t know if I can do this presentation. He’s not going to jump in and go, No, no, unless he understands that about women. But 90% of men don’t. And so you know, he’s not going to jump in and go, Oh, don’t worry, PowerPoints super easy. You got this.

He’s not going to say that he’s going to sit there and be like, well, I’m thinking you know, he’ll think to himself, he’ll probably silently judge you and be like, PowerPoints not that hard to she You think she can’t do that? Like, what the Why did we hire? Or Didn’t she just get promoted? Like, I mean, guys don’t understand that about women. And again, that’s another reason why women don’t often get promoted because we will self-deprecate because we’re hoping somebody else is going to, like, prop us back up, you know, and then we could have a good laugh about it. But men hear that and they just, they take it literally and go, Oh, you can’t make a presentation. That’s kind of weird, you know, they don’t get it. So again, going back to relationships, I’m using that as an example of how men misunderstand women, and how men, this is often where a lot of chauvinism comes from, you know, men often think they’re better than women. If they’re chauvinist, you know not every guy is like this. But some guys think they’re better than women because they don’t understand that women put themselves down as a connection attempt, you know, we will put each other down when we’re with our friends, not because we think we’re losers, but because it’s like a bonding moment, you know, you’re like, Oh, my God, my hair looks terrible. No girl, your hair looks great, you know. And then we feel connected to that person. It’s like I said, it’s like a bonding moment, well, men will hear that you know, or a woman will, you know, put herself down about something else, you know, maybe it’s not her hair, maybe it’s her skills, or her ability to do something. And oftentimes men who are arrogant and don’t understand women will use that as proof of See, men or men are better than women. See, women can’t drive Look, she just admitted it, you know, and that’s not really what’s happening.

But anyway, so yeah, that is understanding men, those are just some of the ways men and women are different, and how they play out in relationships. And even in the workplace, that was a bit of a tangent, but that is something to keep in mind. And if you want to have a harmonious relationship, you have to understand that about men and just let them be men, you know, don’t try to change them, and make them like your girlfriends. Because then you will either, you know, anger them, and guys will you know, you’ll create distance and tension in the relationship. And if you do it enough and long enough, as you can, then you can end up you know, alienating the guy and ending the relationship because you’re just not accepting him the way he is. And he should do the same for you. He’s not letting you be feminine, you know, that’s a problem too. But, you know, that’s, that’s not good. On the other hand, if you push a guy to be too into his feelings, and always talking about them with you, or you never let him think something out by himself, he never really gets to have that, like alone time, you know, then he kind of starts losing that like, masculine edge that likes attracted you to them, and then you can get to a point where you kind of lose the attraction for him and you’re like, I don’t know what happened to him. But you know, I’m just not that into him anymore. You know, and that can be what happens you know, you can kind of destroy that contrast there between you guys. And that can make things difficult. So anyway, food for thought. It’s important to understand men if you want to be attractive, and if you want to have one in your life, so that’s that.