Welcome to Thomistic womanhood, we’re gonna continue the goodness series and in this video, we’re going to talk about admiration. This is a really important video, this is right up there with a video I made about accepting help from a man. Because this is the other thing that is central to a man’s happiness in a relationship. He wants to feel needed, but he also wants to feel admired. And what I mean when I say admired is if you look up the definition, admire, it’s a verb, it means, to regard someone with a sense of wonder or appreciation. And so men really deep down, men are not as secure, maybe or egotistical, as they kind of put themselves out there to be as they try to present themselves to be a lot of men deep down are really worried about like, gee, do I have what it takes, am I going to fail? And so if a woman is like, wow, you’re wonderful, or Wow, that was really cool. Or, wow, that’s impressive. you often hear this like little boys in grade school, when they’re talking about their first crush, they’ll go, Well, I have to impress her, you’re like, why did you jump off the barn with your skateboard? Well, I have to impress her, I have to impress this girl.

And that’s, that’s kind of that little dawning need for admiration that men have, they want to impress you, they want to you, they want to show you like, I’m special, I’m better than the other guys you could be with. And here’s why it may sound arrogant, like, oh, he wants to show me how awesome he is. Oh, it’s not that many men very much. going back to what we talked about in the video about, accepting help from men. Men want to be viewed as someone who can contribute to the relationship who can make you happy. I’m your guy. I’m going to get it done, I’m going to take care of it. Now this tendency is why men are so good in the workplace and why they have, they often climb up the ladder pretty quickly. It’s because men instinctively understand that you have to let everyone around, that you are the go to guy and that you are capable of getting what they need you to get done. And you are the best option that they could pick because you are qualified, you are ready and willing, like you can get it done. That’s how men think. And so when they come to a relationship, they kind of bring that same attitude like Well, I’m here to like, make you happy, like I’m gonna get it done. And so if a woman kind of admires them, and it’s like wow, that was so great. And well thank you for doing that. And or if you notice, like good qualities about him, men want to be understood, they want a woman to see their good side and appreciate them for it. So again, this is a little different than what we talked about in the accepting help video. In that video it was that you appreciate the things he does for you.

This is a little different. This admiration is appreciating the good qualities of who he is as a man who he is. And if you admire qualities in him that are maybe stereotypically masculine. That is also going to mean a lot to him. They want to have their intellect admired, wow, that was really brilliant. All of what a good idea. Yeah, that makes sense. Or they want their like Braun admired, Wow, you’re so strong or Oh, you look at your muscles, they love that or their skills. men want their skills they’d want to admire, like, Wow, you’re so like, wow, like, that was really good. How you fix the oil in like five minutes or whatever, or Wow, I really admire you how, you just you get so much done. You’re so productive, like wow, just listen to men talk and they’re going to tell you things about themselves, for you to admire, every guy when they talk like men literally crave admiration. They crave somebody listening to them and going wow, that’s really cool. Wow, you did that. Wow. They love that because a lot of times nobody really listens to men.

They utilize men but they don’t listen to them. And what I mean by utilizes, men often they show in the workplace, where they show up various areas of their lives, as somebody to do a job, they’re very utilitarian while I’m here to get a job done, and men often in fulfilling that role in their workplace or whatever, nobody’s nobody’s admiring this guy from as no one’s noticing who he is, they’re only noticing what he’s doing, or what he does and so a lot of men, they really crave somebody, seeing them as a person and admiring their qualities, their good qualities, men will work their whole lives just to have a woman look at them and go, Wow, you’re wonderful. Like, it means a lot to men. It really does. And so that’s why, if you’re on a date with a guy, and he’s talking about himself a lot, and you’re like, Man, this guy’s such a bore, like what, like, just listen to him, and look for qualities that you can admire in him, maybe, I mean, it can be something silly, maybe he’s kind of a nerd. And he’s like, really into computers. And he just absolutely loves computers. And so he got together with a few of his friends. And he decided they were going to offer their coding abilities to the local homeless shelter, they needed a website made. And so he was like, Well, guys, let’s get together and let’s help this, there’s a homeless place, blah, blah, he’s going to tell you that not because he’s trying to be arrogant.

Now, obviously, there are narcissistic men out there, who they just constantly talk about themselves. And yeah, if all he ever does is talk about himself, and he never asks questions of you, this is not a normal guy wanting admiration. This is a narcissist wanting an audience. There’s a difference. Obviously, you don’t want Narcissus, but it should alternate. there’ll be times where you’ll do the talking, or he’ll ask questions about you, and blah, blah, blah. And then other times, it’ll alternate and he’ll talk about himself, and when men talk about themselves, it’s because they want you to admire, the good qualities about them, they want to show you like, Hey, I’m a stand up guy, like, look what I can do for you, and so again, always listen to men, and if they’re talking over your head, you can be pretty sure they’re just doing it to try and impress you. Because sometimes men, in a desire to be admired, will often like, like, let’s say he’s into, like physics, maybe he works in physics.

He’s some kind of scientist, if he suddenly starts discussing very nitty gritty details like rocket launches, or something, and the formulas they go through, and you’re just like, sitting there, like, why is he telling me rocket formulas? Like, I don’t care? What he’s doing is he’s probably hoping you’ll admire him. Because Yeah, nobody really knows rocket formulas, except this, like, niche group of rocket scientists or whatever physics guys. And so because it is rare, specialized knowledge. That’s exactly why he’s telling you that, you’re probably sitting there. Like, who cares? Like, this isn’t common dinner table conversation? No, it’s not. But he’s hoping you’ll sit there and go, wow, not many people know that. Like, that must have been really hard. Have you had to learn? I mean, oh, no, it wasn’t that bad. Oh, yeah. trust me, one of the ways that men feel admired. And if you want to express admiration in an effective way, you can often play up the difficulty of what they’re bragging about. So again, going back to this, like rocket scientists thing, notice how I said, Oh, it must have been difficult to learn all that, and then oh, no, no, it wasn’t, if he’s like a security guard, like, oh, wow, that must be that must be kind of dangerous.

Don’t do you ever run into any crazy people? Oh, and so then they’ll just be like, Oh, yeah, dude, like, so, again, that is a really, really important thing. I know. It sounds silly. And the way we’re talking about it, it may sound gimmicky, and I’ll be honest with you, like you have to be careful with this because you should not misuse it. You can really, you can really hook a guy with admiration, men will fall very much in love with women who admire them and make them feel wonderful. So don’t abuse this knowledge. Like this is actually important, and so, yeah, admiration. It’s very important to a man that it is more important than beauty. It’s more important than a lot of the other things that how hot you are, how, it’s more important admiration really feeds that deep emotional need that men have, to be understood and appreciated and seen. on a deeper level, when you say to someone, like I see you, that’s what you’re doing when you admire a man, express that admiration over the things he’s telling you. It’s showing, like, Hey, I see you as a person, not as somebody who can just do something for me, because that’s the thing if you accept help from a man, and if that’s the only thing you’re ever doing, eventually, it’ll get old and a guy will go, Wow, it felt great to help her with stuff. But now it’s just like, all she ever does is, I give her stuff and she appreciates it, but something’s missing, and he’s not going to know what’s missing. Men don’t really know this kind of stuff about themselves, at least not to a level that they can articulate to you, they’re not going to sit there and go, Well, I don’t really feel very admired right now, the most they may say is, well, I don’t really feel appreciated, or you’re never happy, But yeah, admiration.

That’s why, as much as accepting help is good. And it’s like a glue that glues you together. The other part of this glue is the admiration because the admiration shows that you’re not just there, to get your needs met, to use him, it shows that you care about him as a person, because you’re listening to him, and you’re noticing these human qualities, maybe he has high ideals, or he wants to protect the innocent or the weak, or, he wants to right or wrong, or, he wants to make the world better, or maybe he really loves his mom, and he wants to take care of her, bola. There are good qualities that men have. And this is why it’s important to not get too poisoned with the modern idea that, oh, there’s a horrible patriarchy and men are awful, and they’re just trying to keep you down. If you believe that you’re going to experience the world through the filter of that belief, we notice in psychology, as we think that’s kind of what we observe in the world around us. So be careful, if you have this belief that men are bad news are going to screw you over bla bla bla, then when you’re talking to a man, you are not going to pick up on these good qualities, that filter is going to filter out the good qualities, and you won’t really be able to admire them for anything.

Now, again, every date doesn’t have to be a big admiration Fest, obviously, like you guys should talk about other things other than that, and also, you have to get to know a man first, before you can know if he’s an admirable person. So the first few dates, laugh at his jokes, listen to him. If he tells you some impressive story, make sure to be like, oh, wow, that’s really cool. Oh, that must have been hard. While you were the leader in that. Wow. But still pay attention and see, like, hmm, is he really a good person? Is he good quality, and so, you still got to kind of like evaluate. But again, speaking in general admiration is crucial to a guy again, this is more important than looks, a lot of guys online, a lot of them talk about like, Well, women over 30 aren’t attractive, or bla bla,  And while it’s true that your 20s are the best and easiest time to get a man, it doesn’t mean that that’s the only time to get a man you can get a man at any age. And one of the great equalizers is this ability to make a man feel great about himself, being able to admire him in a room full of women, the most beautiful woman or the hottest one, maybe she has the best body, she just looks amazing. If she can’t make a man, if she can’t admire a guy and like to make him feel important.

She’s not going to get them. She’s not going to keep them long term. He’ll date her for a little while because she’s hot. But then eventually like it, there won’t be that glue there. And they’ll just kind of drift apart. And that’ll be that but you can get a very plain girl, maybe she’s overweight, maybe she doesn’t have the nicest clothes like the other girls, but she’s very, she knows how to admire a guy. She knows how to get them talking and listen to his stories. And she’s patient. She’s a good listener, a good conversationalist. And she can kind of wind out of this, like she can kind of wind out that thread throughout the stories of Oh, wow. So that’s your character. Wow, that’s really impressive.

So again, for those of you that are watching this, you’re maybe like well, I’m worried about attracting someone cuz I’m not that pretty or, I’m really overweight out or my boobs are really small, like, I don’t think I’m that attractive. Don’t worry about it. If you can, if you can be a good listener and a good admirer, then guys are going to be so happy they will want you over the beautiful women just because you make them feel great. And again, it has to be sincere admiration. You Don’t lie. And if he tells you like I robbed a bank, well, you’re so you’re such a risk taker, don’t do that. And obviously, the admiration has to be sincere, or else it’ll just sound like flattery. And there are certain men that, they just you’re not, you’re not hitting it off with each other. And when he talks, you genuinely aren’t really finding anything to admire, like, okay, maybe that’s not the guy for you.

But next time you talk to a guy, I mean, anywhere, you don’t have to be on a date, practice listening to men, when they talk, wherever you go, I work in the tech industry, computers and like coding stuff. And I went to a hacker conference, and I was talking to the sky, it was a hacker, like, I had to go like, I’m into, like hacking and security that’s like, one of my job fields or whatever, skills. And so I went to this hacker conference, because it’s like, part of my job or whatever. And I wanted to go anyway, not gonna lie. It’s a fine conference. But it’s called DEF CON. For those of you. You should google it’s pretty crazy. I don’t know, dude. But anyways, I went to this conference. And I’m telling you, man, I had guys like, geeking out on me. And they were just like, this one guy was talking about, he was like, such a nerd. I mean, I swear, like, these guys will sit there and tell you how they hooked up their vacuum cleaner to the router, and then they ordered pizza. I mean, like, crazy stuff like that? So I’m telling you, like, when you listen to men, like, just let them talk, and they’ll tell you crazy stuff. But you gotta like, look at that and try to think like, what, what was impressive about that, oh, maybe it took a lot of skill. Maybe it took a lot of perseverance.

Maybe some men are just tickled to death just to have a woman listen to their stories. I mean, really, so again, being a good listener, being able to see the man behind the story, and the character that it took and the good qualities it took to do that thing, admire those, and express that admiration to men because yeah, you will have such an advantage over the beautiful hot chicks. Seriously, man, they will pick you every time I’m not even joking. Now, again, most guys maybe saying pick you ever every time is an exaggeration, because a lot of guys, they go for the looks first, but they get sick of those kind of women, these women that are shallow, and they don’t really admire the guy, and they’re just kind of blank, they don’t have much personality guys, they don’t, they don’t stick with that long term. especially when they’re younger. When guys are young and hormonal, they go for the pretty hot chicks, and then they regret it and then they eventually break up with them.

And once they kind of mature a little bit, they go with other ones. But even still, if you can, do your hair and make yourself as presentable as possible. maybe you’re not a 10 model, but you don’t have to just brush your hair, put on whatever makeup you’re comfortable with, put on an outfit that you like and you think makes you look pretty, so try to make yourself as presentable and nice as you feel is best and then yeah, just like admire guys listen to their stories, be a good conversationalist. And I’m telling you, you will absolutely be able to compete with these like quote-unquote hot chicks. Like I’m telling you this is like the secret man hat. Nobody talks about this. Our society only focuses on looks, or like, oh, Workout, so you have a nice butt or whatever. But man, I’m telling you, dude, this, you can admire a guy and it’s genuine, genuine admiration like dude, you’ve got that guy for life. I’m serious. They will do anything for you. Yeah, so anyways, food for thought, and hope that was helpful. I just gave you the cheat code to manhood. So you’re welcome But anyways, yeah.