He has to feel like you need him somehow. And so what that looks like in practice, it doesn’t mean you have to be helpless and stupid. That’s not what I’m talking about, men understand it’s the 21st century. And, women are going to have jobs, they’re going to know their way around the world. They don’t want something super sheltered like, a woman that doesn’t know what’s going on, men want a woman who can hold her own, she’s financially responsible, she’s been out in the world, she knows how life works. So they don’t want you to be helpless. But at the same time, they want to feel like they’re bringing something to your life that you can’t get yourself. And it doesn’t have to be something major, this doesn’t mean you have to quit your job, and put yourself in some precarious financial situation, just so you’ll be attractive. I’ve heard that often. I think sometimes women when we hear that men want to be needed, I think sometimes we can misinterpret it. And we can often think that, Oh, well, I guess I have to shoot myself in the foot to be attractive. And that’s not what I’m talking about.

A man will feel needed on even little things, if you like the restaurant he took you to and you, express and show your appreciation for it. If you have him, let’s say your car broke down. And you call him and you’re like, I don’t know what happened to my car, do you think maybe you could take a look at it, or you let them change the oil in your car for you. Or, if there’s some area of things that he’s really into going back to the car example. Maybe he loves cars. And that’s like, That’s his favorite hobby. Well, maybe you can ask for his help with something car-related. And he’ll love that and he’ll feel needed and important. If you appreciate and be like, Hey, I’m having trouble with my car. And I know you’re really into cars, do you think you could take a look at the engine, he will love that. Let’s say he’s into photography, and he really prides himself on being a good photographer, then, maybe you can ask him if you let’s say you had to get a new camera, let’s say you’re doing YouTube, you had to get a new camera or something, maybe you can ask his advice and be like, hey, do you know, blah, blah, blah. So again, he’ll love that men love being asked for advice. Now, don’t abuse this. I see.

Sometimes people can turn it into a kind of a gimmick. And they can be like, Oh, well, ask his advice on blah, blah, blah. And it’s like, don’t ask his advice on basic adulting if you don’t know how to train to think of a good example. But there are certain basic things in life like you should know how to do basic banking, you should know how to have a checkbook and a bank account, things like that. You don’t want to ask him for things that are kind of like no brainers don’t ask for his help with certain emotionally mature things.

Like you should have your own friends, you should be able to have enough hobbies and emotional stability to be able to entertain yourself when you’re alone. Like, you should not treat them like Well, I don’t have any friends and I need your attention, or Oh, I’m, I don’t like being alone. You have to spend time with me every waking moment. Like, those are things you should figure out on your own, you should not need a guy to help you with constant attention. 24 seven you should ask for a man’s help in areas that he is likely to have some sort of expert knowledge on, again, if you send photography, if he’s into guns, if he’s into cars, some area that he’s good at and that maybe you’re not good at. So, for example, so yeah, things like that thing that he has some sort of expertise in, absolutely ask his advice, he will love it, he will feel very needed and important.

Other things are protection, if you don’t want to walk down a dark alley at night, guys are not going to feel bad, they’re not going to be mad at you. If you ask for help for things like safety or protection. I will tell you a quick story to kind of illustrate this and to show that this is so fundamental to men they want to feel needed, they want to feel important. This is something even if you’re not dating men, make it a habit to accept the help men give you if they want to open a door for you. Tell them thank you. If they if you’re at some convention and some elderly old man working convention is like oh, Well, here, let me give you an extra, maybe their swag at this convention, let me give you an extra one all thank you,  just accept the help that men give because it’s an act of kindness, and just accept the kindness. Like, there’s no shame in that. I think that’s one of the things about feminism, that it’s almost like, it’s taught us to be ashamed of accepting help from a man, and God forbid, needing help from a man. And so that’s why women who proudly declare don’t don’t say on social media, or when you’re on a date, like, I don’t need a man, that’s like, man, repellent.

Now, I know what women mean, when they say that, I think what they mean is, I’m not a helpless idiot, because I think there is often a false idea of femininity that is pushed, and people say, Well, to be feminine, you have to be submissive and helpless and stupid. And that’s not true. That’s not true femininity. So I think that’s, I think that’s where women are kind of coming from when they say that, but that is not how it’s interpreted by men. What that means is I don’t need you, I’m never going to be happy with you, blah, blah, blah, and two men, it’s like, well, great, I’m going to fail in this relationship. So I’m not even going to get started, but anyway, going back to the story, before that, I was going to tell again, men love to be needed, like, wherever you find them. So one time I went to Chipotle, and there was this guy, he was a homeless guy. And I felt sorry for him. He was like, he’s asking for money by the door. And I said, Well, why don’t you come in with me and I’ll buy you a burrito. And he was like, Okay, and so as I’m in there, he likes it, he starts hitting on me. It was like, really creepy. And I was like, Oh my gosh, like, this is awkward. And apparently, he hung around that supposedly a lot. Because when we got to like the burrito line, we’re like, the people there will like to start making your burrito and you’re like talking to him. The girl was like, sir, you have to leave or we’re gonna call the cops. And I was like, really confused. And the girls like, ma’am, He’s here. He’s here all the time. Always trying to get money, blah, blah, blah. And so like, they kicked him out. And so I got my burrito, I finished, and then I sat there eating it. And I was thinking about it. And I was like, that was stupid of me. Like, I didn’t even know this guy.

So the lesson, don’t feel sorry for homeless people. Be careful. Like, don’t be like me. But so yes, I sat there. I was like, man, I still have to walk out to my car. Like, what if this guy follows me to my car like cuz it was super creepy. Like, he was hating on me while I was there, it was really weird. And I was like, Man, I’m like, actually scared to walk because my car was parked in this really kind of shaded kind of obscure part of the parking lot. it was not right out in a well-lit area like this is during the day. But it was still kind of like a hidden area, kind of. And I thought I’m really scared to go back to my car. And, I felt a little stupid about it. But I thought, better safe than sorry. And men like to be helpful anyways. So I went up to the counter, and I asked the girl at the counter, there was a girl and a guy, kind of standing there. And how sometimes when you walk up to a fast-food counter, there’ll be the person you’re talking to, but then there’ll be like a couple of other people standing around, they’ll, they’ll kind of congregate and listen to your question. If it’s a slow time, it was kind of like that, I walked up to the girl, and I said, I’m ready to leave.

And with that guy, I’m kind of scared to go to my car, could one of you walk me back to my car, and I didn’t care whether it was a girl or a guy, as long as there was another person there, like a witness. Like, I didn’t think this guy was gonna pull anything. And again, it could have been fine, but still, like, my intuition was, like, really bothering me. And I was like, I don’t want to walk to my car alone, And yeah, right away, like the guy that was standing there. He’s like, Oh, yeah, I’ll walk you to your car. And I was like, Okay, thank you, he and so he walked me back to my car. And as I’m walking, as we’re walking to my car, this homeless guy comes up again, like he’s on a bike. And he comes up again, trying to talk to me. And I was like, I’m so glad I have someone with me, because he came up to me when I was alone, like, Oh my gosh, and so the guy that was with me was kind of like, Hey, leave her alone, blah, blah, blah. And he’s like, well, I’m trying to talk to her. And I was like, Yeah, yeah, like, I’m getting ready to leave and bla bla, and like, we kind of discouraged him and got him to go away. And then, so then I was, I was in my car and I thanked him. I said, thanks for walking me to my car, I’m sorry for the trouble. And he goes, Oh, no, no, no, no problem, yeah, you try to help people and, sometimes they aren’t worth helping. He’s talking about the homeless guy.

But, he said something like that, I don’t remember. But anyway, I watched him when he walked back and I’m telling you, his chest was like, he was just walking back like he just like, won the World Series or something. So anyway, I’m going off on a tangent with that story. But he, I mean, you could tell like it made his day. So again, yeah, except the help that men give you, it makes them feel wonderful. And they love helping women. That is one of the signs of a good guy, if you’re worried if this guy’s like a player or a pickup artist, see if he enjoys helping you. And if he tries to help you with stuff, it could be something as simple as, you’re at a buffet and he’s like, oh, here, do you want this one like this? Let’s say you really like mushrooms? He’s like, Oh, do you want to eat this?

This has mushroom in it, so just see if he’s trying to help you because a good guy will enjoy helping you aside from like, the physical pleasures, that is one of their most cherished emotional pleasures in a relationship they like to help you so always say thank you smile, show appreciation and if you can talk about the effect his help had on you, like, I’m so thankful that you stopped by and put gas in my car when I was on the side of the road. Like, I was able to make it to an important meeting on time because of that. So thank you, it can even enhance the enjoyment if you explain the effect their help had and how it saved you from a bigger problem or something. So again, food for thought, it’s very important to accept the help that is offered to you and don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you genuinely do need it, again, don’t be helpless and silly but we women know there are times where you do need someone’s help, and men are happy to help you. Good Men are happy to help so don’t be afraid to ask. So anyway, that is the end of that video. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope there’s some good food for thought so yeah, like, subscribe, do all the things.