Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood. In today’s video, we’re gonna discuss how to attract a masculine man. And I’m going to give you five tips on how to do that. Many of you watching this channel are more traditionally minded, I think it’s safe to assume that. And so those of us with that mindset, we want a man that complements us, not one that is very similar to us. And so if you want to attract that kind of guy, there are some very specific, kind of a very specific way you need to go about it. And the foundational thing is, you need to enhance the contrast between you and a man versus the similarities. The way society kind of teaches us to flirt nowadays is as women, we’re taught to kind of enhance the similarities, we’re supposed to take initiative, we’re supposed to be go-getters, but that is just going to enhance the similarities between you and a man. And then you’re just going to end up what you’ll attract is a man that’s a little more effeminate, he’s a little on the softer side. And it’s usually not going to work out that great, trust me, I’ve been there. So anyways, these are going to be five tips on how to enhance this contrast.

TIP #1: BE A GOOD LISTENER

So tip number one, Be A Good Listener. So with men, a lot of them are very busy. Guys are not really into the whole, like, tell me about your feelings, guys are just like, let’s get it done, let’s move forward. they don’t want to, they don’t really listen to each other a lot of times. And so sometimes men feel very lonely in the world, because they don’t really have a compassionate ear to tell their problems to and so obviously, you don’t want a man that’s like super whiny, because that would be annoying. But to be a good listener, I’m going to make another video later about how to be a good flirt, and be a good conversationalist, which is kind of half of what flirting is with men. But being a good listener means you sit there, you listen to his stories, it doesn’t necessarily have to be just when something bad happens to him. But if he’s excited about something, how lonely is it, if when you don’t have someone to share good news with, so you want to be someone that he feels like, he can tell the good and the bad to, or maybe he has like a plan or a dream, listen to these things, sit there, make a lot of eye contact, ask questions about whatever he’s talking about things like that. And just genuinely focus on Him, when he’s talking, make an effort to do that. And that will go a long way with men, they really appreciate that. And the masculine men will be drawn to that like moss like a flame seriously. Now, a common, like obstacle or problem that comes up with this or question that gets asked is, How am I going to be a good listener, if he talks over my head, and I don’t understand what he’s talking about.

Now, a lot of men will do that on purpose, because it makes them feel important. So if you’ve got a man who isn’t doing that in an obnoxious way, because there are some men that are really obnoxious about it, but if he is talking over your head, you can ask whatever questions you feel like would help you understand. But if you’re still not getting it, then I would say, just listen, and try to look at the man behind the, the concept, the topic he’s talking about, try to look at the man behind the topic. So maybe admire him a little bit, praise them a little bit like, wow, that’s really complicated. Like, wow, I didn’t know nuclear physics was so complex. Wow. Like, how did you figure that out? Oh, well, blah, blah, blah, so you can kind of admire him for being able to figure that out. Or oh, so and oftentimes, that’s what men really want when they’re talking over your head. They’re actually just looking for somebody to admire them and go, Wow, that’s really complicated. How did you ever figure that out? They love that.

TIP #2: RECEIVE GRACIOUSLY

So, next one, the next tip is Receive Graciously. So this is something that us women, we all have trouble with it. It’s difficult for us to receive a lot of times, when I say receive, I mean gifts, compliments or help. If he gives you a compliment, just receive the compliment, smile and say, thanks. Don’t shoot down the compliment. If he goes, Wow, your hair’s really beautiful. Don’t sit there and go oh, no, it’s not it’s actually really frizzy or oh my gosh, I if Such a mess, it’s all kingdom in the frizzy is that’s not with men that just makes them feel rejected, with them giving you a compliment is something they do to kind of be nice to you. And if you shoot it down, then they’re going to feel a little, they’re going to feel a little slighted. Honestly, I’ve heard guys say that. And I’ve read online, when guys talk about this, it’s kind of something they don’t like about women is when we reject their compliments, and think about it, if you gave a compliment to a man, and he was like, oh, no, blah, blah, blah, for us women, it’s different. We reject compliments as a way of bonding, because then the other person can step and go, Oh, no, no, it looks great. Really, really? Oh my gosh, and then it’s like this whole big bonding moment. Guys don’t do that. They don’t interpret it that way. So yeah, if he gives you a compliment, just smile and say, thanks. You don’t need to; this is also part of being mysterious, which we’ll talk about later. But don’t tell every little detail about how you got your hair to look that way, or how that outfit turned out or whatever. Just smile and say thanks, gifts, it’s the same thing. You are not obligated to a man to do anything.

For him, especially physically, if he gives you a gift, if a gift is a gift, there should be no strings attached. And so when a guy gives you a gift, assuming he’s a good decent guy, obviously, if he’s the kind of guy that gives gifts with strings attached, why are you involved with him? Think about it. But I’m going to assume you have a normal decent guy on your hands. And if he gives you a gift, just again, smile and say thank you. If you like the gift, if it’s something you’ve always wanted, like, let’s say you’ve always wanted flowers, and he gives you flowers. Make sure you show your enthusiasm because men give gifts, and they’re very sensitive to the reaction. So if you get a gift, and you’re just very flattered to have a x, they’re going to feel a little hurt that they’re gonna go oh, I guess she didn’t really like it. But I mean, if you love flowers, and you want your boyfriend to give you flowers, then from now on every bouquet you get is oh, this is the cutest I’ve ever seen. Oh, I love that color of flowers. Oh, sometimes it helps to kind of play up the enthusiasm a little bit. Don’t be completely fake about it, if you’re not extroverted, if you’re very introverted, don’t be something you’re not. But if you’re authentic, responses of five may be taken up to a six or seven. So I’m saying, make sure you show enthusiasm and appreciation when a guy gives you a gift. That is something masculine men love, they love feeling appreciated for the gifts they give. They love that emotional response. And women because again, it’s different than men, if you give a guy a gift, like let’s say you give them a bunch of ammo, he’s not going to sit there and go, Oh, my gosh, oh, you know, like, that’s not going to happen. So, again, there’s a contrast there. But with women, if you give us the right gift, you might get that response.

So again, gifts, compliments, help, help is another one. If a man helps you with something, just smile and say thank you, if he opens the door for you don’t read into it, just smile and say thank you. If he helps you carry a box, if he helps you with your car, just smile and say thank you, you’re not obligated to do something back, as he’s helping you don’t sit there and plot how you’re going to pay him back. And oh, well, maybe I should bake some cookies. Or maybe I should do this or you know, or worse, don’t reject the help in a misguided sense of self sufficiency. Us women, it’s easy for us to think we’re being a burden. And for men, if it was a burden for him, he’s not going to offer. Men are not like women with us, we will just give and give and give until it hurts men, they don’t do that, they will give only if they have the capacity to give. In general, most of the time, that’s what they’re doing. So if a guy is helping you with something, or he’s giving in some way, he’s not going to think you’re a burden. If you’re accepting it, like this is not, it’s not a trap, guys are not trapping you, when they try to help you, they’re not going to turn around and go, Oh, you’re a burden because I helped you when you accepted it, they’re not going to do that. So, again, accept the help. It’s a nice thing they’re doing.

TIP #3: DON’T RUN THE RELATIONSHIP

Tip number three, Don’t Run The Relationship. Just sit back. be passive. Be cool, let it unfold from the energy of his efforts, as women this is we get into that masculine frame of mind where we feel like we need to make something happen, oh, I don’t know where this is going, or, well, where’s he going to take me? Oh, could we actually maybe go to the sushi restaurant at seven o’clock. And, I can pick you up. And but don’t do any of that, just sit back, relax, let him plan the dates, let him call you, let him make the first move. This is important to give men that space. And to kind of show them that you’re, valuable woman, you’re not going to run after men, men look at this, they gauge if they see you running after men all the time, they’re gonna go this woman, she’s probably not dealt with very good men in the past. And, she’s not very, I don’t know, if this is a high quality woman, like she’s, she just runs after men a lot.

Even if this is the only guy you’ve ever done that with, maybe you were really good, you never call the guy and this one guy, this is the one guy where you just you were crazy about him, he’s not going to know that he’s not going to know, he was the one guy that you did this with. And so, but what he’s gonna think is, oh, she must do this to everybody, because most of the time these men don’t know, you, or if they do know you, and they saw that you didn’t chase men, and then you’re chasing them, that’s going to also kind of put them off.

So again, don’t try to run the relationship, you gotta let it just develop at its own pace, because then if you do, you’re competing with him, then you’re getting into that masculine role. And then he doesn’t feel masculine contrast compared to you. He just feels like he’s got another guy on his hands. And so and that’s not what you want, attraction is built on contrast. So just let him do what he’s going to do. This is where something called roster dating comes in really handy. You should be seeing multiple guys, unless you and a guy have verbally discussed and agreed to being in an exclusive relationship, preferably a discussion that he initiated. Unless you guys have done that, and you’re exclusive, you should be dating other guys, you should be dating multiple men, that does not mean you have to kiss them or sleep with them. Obviously, in this channel, we’re very traditional. I don’t think you should be sleeping with guys you’re not married to. But, again, you don’t have to do things like that with them. But if you’re seeing multiple guys, that means you kind of have multiple, like, it’s harder to get stuck on one guy and worried like, oh, well, he’s not asking me out, or oh, this or that, it’s important to have multiple options. Because truthfully, you really don’t know which one’s gonna pan out as much as we like a guy. It may not work out and the guy that you don’t expect could be the one that you end up marrying, that is actually what happened to me, I was doing online dating, I was talking to, I was talking to a couple guys about something that was like, not platonic. But my husband ended up being the guy when I was talking to all these guys. He was like the one I least expected to go anywhere. And, it ended up, it ended up working out.

Now, that’s not to say that you should, that you’re going to marry somebody that you’re not attracted to, you’re not noticing. But that’s I’m just saying it’s unpredictable, you don’t know how things are going to go. So kind of hedge your bets by having multiple guys. And then that gives you the emotional space and the emotional, the lack of anxiety because we often try to run a relationship because we’re anxious of how it’s gonna turn out. And if you have multiple guys, it takes away some of the anxiety, I’m not gonna lie to you and say it takes away all of it because it doesn’t, because when we really like a guy, it doesn’t matter, all the other people that are calling us we’re still waiting for that one number, or text us or whatever. So again, it’s not going to take away all the the anxiety and the anticipation, but it’s going to help, it will help and also if the guy catches wind of it, he’s gonna go oh, man, I better like sit up straight and take the squirrel seriously because I got competition so it can help you. Which is why a lot of guys knock it; they don’t want girls to have a bunch of options. So they do it.

TIP #4: BE MYSTERIOUS

But anyways, number four Be Mysterious. This is again a contrast to men. men are very straightforward, they discuss, they speak to give information and when a man likes you he wants to lay it all out on the table let what kind of man he is, like Yeah, I got what it takes I, I can be a good boyfriend can be there. He’s approaching it with that kind of mindset. But it’s feminine to be a little more mysterious. Don’t lay out all your cards. We can see what kind of man this is. Before you really get involved with him, don’t spill your guts, don’t tell him on the first or second date that you had an abusive childhood and your uncle did this and that to you, don’t, don’t bring up that kind of stuff. Just keep it cool, keep it light, the first few dates, I’d say the first, probably three or four dates, keep it pretty light and casual. And then, once he starts investing himself more, and you start seeing him open up. Be careful with that, though, because sometimes men will open up and they’ll tell you some juicy childhood story or something, because they’re trying to trick you into opening and spilling your guts too, and then they can manipulate you.

So that’s why I say wait about three or four dates, really get to know this guy, see if he’s going to go the distance. And then slowly, gradually, kind of share parts of yourself, emotionally and in the discussion, you want to just kind of keep that mystery. Also, don’t tell gross stories. If you’re if you had diarrhea in the last week, and you were sick, just tell him and you had to cancel a date. Just tell him you’re sick. I caught a bug, or I caught a flu bug. You don’t need to tell him you were throwing up at two in the morning. And oh my gosh, I threw up pepperoni. Can you believe that? Don’t do that. Don’t tell him those kinds of stories. Okay, save it for your girlfriend. You don’t want to grow skies out when you’re feminine. It’s like, Guys will tell the grossest stories to each other. They love fart jokes. They love potty humor, gross stuff, guys tend to associate it with masculinity. Women, they think though, we’re different, they think we’re these delicate flowers, you know? And so, you want to play up that contrast by Yeah, avoiding gross stories. And if he presses you for details, just be like, yeah, yeah, threw up, it was, it was kind of gross. And just leave it at that, but just stay away from the gross stories and stuff.

TIP #5: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Number five, Take Care Of Yourself. And I mean this in a lot of ways, take care. And I mean, take care of yourself first, actually. Because it’s important to take care of yourself. But if you’re the last person on your list to take care of, that’s not good. When you want to attract a masculine man, you have to take care of yourself first. So it’s feminine to do our nails, do our hair, take bubble baths, if you like to pay, go ahead and pay. It doesn’t have to be traditional self care stuff. like having a spa day, maybe that’s not relaxing to you. But maybe you have this woodsy area behind your apartment, and, or your house, wherever, let’s say you live with your parents. It’s this nice woodsy area and you like to take a walk and sometimes be safe about it. But, take a walk, if that’s what relaxes, you go ahead and do that. If you like to work out, make sure you stick to your workout routine, even after you start dating this guy, take care of yourself first. and this is something men talk about when they talk about what they’re like, if you ask men to describe their dream girl, there’s a phrase that comes up a lot. And I like a woman who takes care of herself. And a lot of us women misinterpret this to think, Oh, I must be self-sufficient, then, he wants a woman that’s not going to be a burden and never needs his help. And that’s not what men mean, when they say takes care of herself.

They mean these self care things like oh, she does her nails, she takes care of herself. Oh, look, she does face masks, she takes care of herself. That’s what guys think when they use that phrase. And, they think of those like feminine things that girls do to like, take care of their beauty and their figure and things like that. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, if you’ve got a very demanding job, and it’s wearing you out, set some boundaries. I know it’s tough to do this in the workplace because it’s so competitive, but do what you have to do, to take care of yourself first. Men gauge the value of a woman by the value she places on herself. Men will think about you the way you think about yourself. So take care of yourself first. when you date this guy, he should never come before the basics like food asleep. Emotional if he’s hurting, you don’t date this guy. If he’s keeping you up late, he wants to have these late dates. Don’t do that. You need your sleep. If he doesn’t want to, he never takes you out to eat, and instead the most he’ll do is maybe take you to get a coffee and you’re hungry a lot when you’re dating him. Don’t date this guy, discuss it with them, bring it up nicely and just be like hey, but he’s insistent and doesn’t want to do those things. He doesn’t come before food, sleep breasts, things like that.

So yeah, those are my five tips on how to attract masculine men. Again, these are all things that are going to help you enhance this contrast between you and a man. And masculine men love that. They love femininity, they come to it like moths to a flame. It’s amazing. You will have a lot of luck if you do this. So I hope that’s helpful for you. Go ahead and leave a COMMENT below. You can subscribe, do all the things but thank you for watching. That’s the important thing. I’m glad you watched it. I hope you get something out of it. So anyways, yeah, have a great day.