Number four, nurture something, take care of a pet, a plant or a child, and welcome life into the world wherever you find it. So again, as us women, nurturing is our strong point, it’s the thing we’re really good at, we are superheroes, that would be like our superpower, we’re really good at nurturing things, we have a certain self-sacrificing aspect to us, in the area of taking care of something. Men are really good at self-sacrifice, when it’s for the goals of protecting or providing, women are good at self-sacrificing when it’s for caring for someone smaller or weaker. Do you need food? Are you comfortable? Can I get you a blanket? So yeah, take care of something, develop that nurturing muscle, you know, obviously, taking care of a child is a huge responsibility.

But, maybe you have younger siblings, or maybe you have nieces and nephews that you could babysit or maybe you’re away from home or you don’t have a lot of family members, maybe you don’t have siblings or nieces and nephews. In that case, getting a pet is very popular nowadays, especially among women, we often refer to them as like fur babies, which again, is expressing that feminine desire to take care of something. So yeah, get get a small pet, it doesn’t have to be a cat or a dog, you can get a goldfish, but just having some little creature, it can even be a squirrel on your porch, you could or a bird feeder, you could set out a bird feeder, and have the birds come to your porch, while you have birdseed out for them, just something that is some sort of living creature that you take care of, in some way plants, plants are another good one, maybe your apartment complex doesn’t allow pets, maybe you don’t live in a woodland area. And there aren’t really that many squirrels or birds around plants. House plants are popular because you don’t just water the plant, you have to watch it and make sure it grows, you have to look at the leaves, plants get diseases, and plants get sick.

So you have to make sure that the plant is healthy. Sometimes you have to monitor the soil, is the plant thriving in this kind of soil? Do you maybe need to add some sort of fertilizer to it or some sort of soil enhancer, you go to the nursery, and they have all that kind of stuff. Taking care of a plant is actually a little more involved. And so yeah, plants, plants are a good one. But just take care of something alive, plant, animal or child, just take care of something alive, put yourself in a situation where you can nurture something, or someone else. Or maybe you can get a part time job at a daycare, where you work with a bunch of kids. One of the biggest pitfalls nowadays is that children are basically kind of separated away from women. We put our children in these like daycare institutions, and they’re not really a part of daily life, and that’s a shame because children add so much to our lives. Even if they’re not children we like biologically giving birth to children really, they add a lot to our lives. I am going to talk more about this on number eight. But suffice it to say, develop your nurturing skills, take care of something.

But anyways, number five, slow down and pay attention to how you feel. Don’t laugh off things that are painful, or say it’s fine, I’m fine. When it’s not, or you’re not fine. You don’t have to spill your guts to everyone. But you want to strike a balance of at least being honest with yourself when you feel sad or frustrated. Feminine. Women are in touch with their feelings, they don’t stuff them inside. So as a feminine woman, you need to find a way to process your feelings in a way that’s healthy for you. So again, like I said, you don’t have to go spilling your guts to everybody you want to be careful who you confide in. And even if somebody asks you something like, Oh, are you okay? But you can say or is it? Is it alright? You can go no, it’s not alright, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. Or no, I’m not okay, but I need some time to think about it.

Are there certain phrases you can say that indicate? Yes, there’s a problem, but I don’t want to necessarily talk about it right now. If that’s a person that maybe you don’t feel comfortable discussing all the details with and that’s important because there are people who will kind of thrive off your misery. And just because somebody sympathizes with you doesn’t mean they wish you well. That’s actually something that I had to learn. That’s one of the biggest lessons of my life. I think I used to think that as long as somebody sympathized with you, when you were down and out, that meant they were a friend. And that’s not the case. Sometimes you can get like frenemies. A good sign of this is they’ll be the kind of people who, when something bad happens to you, yeah, they’re around, they’ll sympathize. When you break up with a guy, they’ll sympathize with you, they’ll stroke your head while you’re crying. But then when you get into a great relationship, and everything’s going well, they’re like, nowhere to be found. It’s kind of like, they don’t want to celebrate with you, they only want to suffer with you, that can be a bad sign, because a good friend will do both.

So again, it’s important to be careful who you confide in. This is why journaling is really important. You can hire a good therapist, a good one, you got to kind of interview them and find one that you click with, you’re processing and doing well with. But in general, a good therapist, they’re professionally trained to be objective, and try to move you toward healing so you can get a good therapist, you can also journal. I’ve talked about this in other videos, if you’re upset about something, it can often help to sit and write out how you feel. This is something I do when I’m upset, especially when I’m upset in that like vague way where you’re like, I know I’m upset about this thing, but I don’t really know why I’m so upset about it, or you just have this like vague feeling of like, I just I’m upset about my life right now, oftentimes sitting down and writing out all your feelings, and you literally just like brain dump on the page, just literally write whatever comes to your mind, don’t edit yourself, don’t feel silly for writing it down. This is a private space, you’re not supposed to show this journal to anybody, it’s just for you to just write stuff out and just start writing until you feel like you’re done.

Now, as you write this, you might start to cry, because then the feelings will come up and you might have a good cry or so and then you’ll kind of feel the ideas and the feelings will stop coming to your mind. And there’s, there’s no longer a bunch to write. And then that’s how you’ve kind of processed it, like working through it. But again, doing that kind of stuff is much better than stuffing it all inside. And just going through life and acting like everything’s okay, when it’s not to be feminine, there is a certain emotional delicacy that is normal to being a feminine woman. And if we’re stuffing our feelings all the time, and kind of numbing ourselves out by not staying in touch with those feelings, then we sacrifice a part of our femininity, and it’s an important part. So that’s important. You want to stay in touch with your feelings, keep them process, and it’s something you have to do every day.

Now, obviously, there’s the big processing, if you have like traumas or things like that there is such a pop psychology focus in our culture, that we all want to focus on our traumas, and that can be important, I’m not knocking it, there are some of you that really do need need to do that. However, and especially after you’ve done healing, and you’ve worked through the big things, there is a certain kind of maintenance that you just need to do for the rest of your life. It’s not because you’re like, damaged, it’s because it’s just part of the human condition, like you’re going to be upset and disappointed throughout life. And you need to have a way to deal with that. And so yeah, finding a trusted friend, or, journaling about it, writing out how you feel throughout history, that is the way people have dealt with their feelings. Because it’s going to come up, there’s going to be negative feelings, you’re going to feel scared, you’re going to feel angry or frustrated or sad, and it’s just life, you want to be in touch with all your feelings, not just the happy ones.

The next one, well, we kind of touched on this a little bit. This is kind of almost like the sub point of what we talked about just now. And it’s trying to process and make peace with the bad things that have happened in your life. We all experienced traumas of one kind or another, a feminine woman changes what she can but also comes to terms with the things she can’t change in life. So we kind of talked about this a little bit earlier, you want to process the big things. Point number five was about processing the daily slights, the little nagging things that come up every day.

Now, number six is the big things. We talked about dealing with the little things. And number six is dealing with the big things you’d need to go through. And you’ll know it if you have some sort of trauma, something big in your life that happened to you. You need to deal with that, especially if you want to get in a healthy relationship with a guy. You need to deal with whatever traumas and unprocessed emotional pain that you have. Because if you don’t it’s going to come out in that relationship. And most men don’t know how to deal with that. Unless you’re dating a therapist. I mean, literally, unless you’re dating a guy that is like that’s his job. He’s a therapist. Men don’t have the emotional equipment to solve that kind of problem. They don’t know how to process trauma with you. And it just ends up making them feel like failures because they can sense that you have it. And they can sense that it’s a problem that needs to be solved. But they don’t know how to solve that problem for you. And so then it just makes them feel like a failure. And men don’t date women who make them feel like failures. So again, a good man, a healthy man will be supportive, they’ll be there for you, I’m not saying he’s not gonna have anything to do with your emotional processing, a good guy, he’ll do what he can to help you. However, the bulk of that processing you need to do on your own, you can’t expect a guy to do it for you love is healing, but you have to start the ball rolling on your own. So that’s something to keep in mind, that’s actually very important, to relationships, you need to get your kind of traumas dealt with, on your own, at least mostly on your own.

Number seven, consider those less fortunate than you, so think of people who are less fortunate, do what you can to help them, compassion for the weak, or the suffering, or just the underdog, that’s a hallmark of femininity, that’s one of the things that sets a feminine woman apart from everybody else in the room, feminine women and femininity in general has a certain compassion. So again, this is coming back to it was number two, where you want to have that rest and downtime. Part of that rest and downtime allows you to notice somebody who may be suffering or having a hard time, this is especially important when you become a mother and you have children. If you are so rushed, and stressed and you’re trying to do so many things, you’re not going to have that mental space to look around. And notice when maybe one of your kids is struggling, maybe they’re being bullied at school, and they’re too ashamed to say anything about it.

But you can kind of tell, by reading between the lines, like, oh, there’s something going on here. Or maybe you have a friend that’s having a hard time or something when people are suffering, we’re usually not gonna shout it from the rooftops. And so that’s why a feminine woman kind of pays attention and understands what isn’t being said, she can kind of read between the lines. And that’s why having that rest and that not being rushed, it’s important to develop this ability, to pay attention to somebody who is less fortunate in some way, and you gotta do what you can to help them. Now, again, you have to be careful, you don’t want to take it to such an extreme, that you’re not getting your own duties done. You don’t want to spend so much time taking care of someone else that you neglect your responsibilities, because we all got to stand on our own two feet. But sometimes, sometimes people need a little help getting on their feet, and then they’re on their feet, and they’re fine. But yeah, compassion is that’s feminine, feminine to have a balanced, healthy amount of compassion.

Again, in our society, our society is all extreme. We can’t seem to do anything in a moderated way. We’re either super beautiful, like Instagram models, or we’re like total slobs, and we’re like, loud and proud about it. And it’s the same with compassion. We’re either so compassionate, that we just want to like reorient society so that nobody ever suffers, or we’re just incredibly cold, and we let people fall through the cracks. And we have this very cold mechanical society with no safety net, we’re just so extreme. So I don’t want you to fall into the extreme of being somebody who’s like, so concerned about social justice, that we want to almost like penalize the people who aren’t suffering, oh, well, this person suffering, like, you should go to work so that you can donate all your money to them. And, we’ll just take your money and give it to these people who aren’t working and blah, blah, blah. So there has to be a balance there. But again, compassion is important, and it’s fitting that women have a certain compassion. That’s important.