Welcome to Thomistic Womanhood. In today’s video, we are going to talk about nine ways in order to be more feminine. So I was on Reddit and somebody had posted, I forget what subreddit it is, but someone had posted asking about this topic, and we had a bit of an exchange. So I figured I would make a video about it. So we’re gonna get right into it. And basically, so at a high level, in order to be more feminine, you kind of want to emphasize the contrast between you and a man, I understand that people don’t want to be boxed in, they’re like, Oh, well stereotypical masculine and feminine roles, like, oh, it’s limiting, and blah, blah, blah. And it’s like, yes, it’s true. We all have characteristics, both masculine and feminine, there should be a balance there.

But in general, I think men and women are happiest when they kind of do like an 80/20 kind of thing. If you’re a man, I do think you’re going to be happiest 80% of the time, you’re expressing something that is maybe a little more stereotypically masculine. And I think for us, women 80% of the time, you should express a more feminine side. There will be times, especially for us women, because that’s who I’m talking to, there will be times where you need to have some masculine tendencies. And nobody wants to be overly docile, and just be a doormat. So it is necessary for women to have some strength, some aggression, some initiative, you should be able to do basic problem solving. So I’m not saying you cannot have anything masculine about you. However, I do think most of us women will be happier if we try to cultivate the more feminine parts of our character. And to that end, that is what this video is about.

So, number one, you want to make yourself your home, in your car, as beautiful as you can, it doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, something pretty isn’t always expensive, but you should try to beautify your surroundings and yourself.

Us women are very oriented toward beauty, it’s one of the perfections of our nature, feminine nature, we are more oriented toward making life beautiful. And that goes a long way. It’s good for people in society to have some beauty in life, because it helps strengthen people’s will. In our society, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we have a lot of people telling us what they want us to do. We see this in a lot of ads, governments are getting more and more authoritarian. And ironically, we are also seeing a significant drop in the amount of beauty in the world, in the amount of us women and just society in general, we’re not really taught to do our hair, our makeup, unless it’s to some sort of extreme, but again, as a woman, it’s important to make things as beautiful around us as we can, again, it doesn’t have to cost a ton of money, you don’t have to be some supermodel, it doesn’t have to be an extreme, but you should put an effort toward trying to make things beautiful.

Number two, allow yourself enough rest and downtime so that you aren’t always rushed. And you can kind of relax into the softer side of yourself. It’s often called resting in your femininity, which I think is a good way to phrase it, but you want to allow yourself the time to rest reflect, relax a little bit, being feminine can’t really coexist with high amounts of stress and rushing, being feminine, you need a certain amount of slack, in your schedule, don’t take on too many things. I know like nowadays, us women and this is probably a more American problem depending on where you’re watching this as Americans we do tend to have a problem with being like hyper productive, we tend to think laziness is bad and we tend to kind of get down on ourselves if we’re not juggling like 16 side jobs along with doing grad school and being a full time mom, but that kind of thing is is bad for you. If you want to be more feminine. Take a hard look at your schedule, your projects, if you’re a full time mom, and you’re going to grad school on the side, maybe don’t take on a side job or a side hustle on top of it. It’s okay to just be a stay at home mom and raise kids. It’s okay to just be a student and pursue your degree. It’s okay to just work and have a job.

You don’t have to do all three of these things at once. Because it can often, you will often have to take on a more masculine side of yourself to force yourself to accomplish the demands of all these things. And if you want to be more feminine, being feminine is often about your health and how relaxed you are, you’re not going to speak softly and be patient and compassionate with people, which are common feminine characteristics, you’re not going to be able to do that if you’re stressed and exhausted, and you just feel overwhelmed every day, because, you’re you’re trying to accomplish too much. So be careful about that. I understand, economic realities are what they are. And, sometimes you do have to work a lot, or you do have to take on, maybe have a season of life where there’s a lot on your plate, sometimes you have to just accept circumstances and do what you have to do to get through it. But bear in mind that it is going to be harder for you to develop your femininity in that kind of situation. So it’s the kind of thing you want to bring to an end, as soon as you can, do what you got to do. But it’s not the state of life you should aim to stay in, which is different from what we hear in our media and all this stuff, we are very much conditioned to be human beings instead of human beings. And we are kind of taught that that’s the natural state of things, you should be doing three or four different, major things in life. And that’s not true, and it can, it can cause you to have to sacrifice your femininity, it’s often a lot, in order to do that. So again, life is what it is, you gotta do what you have to do, but try to avoid that situation, if you can, or if you can’t avoid it, try to shorten the time you have to do it, so anyways, that’s that.

Number three, as long as it’s not like at your job, where you’ve taken on certain responsibilities, or it’s a situation where it’s not going to affect your safety, you want to go with the flow and kind of practice letting others make decisions, don’t try to control the outcome, just kind of let it see where it takes you this has to be done in moderation. Because, obviously, you have to be very careful who you let kind of direct things and who you kind of yield to, but there is something to be said about learning to go with the flow and this is something that for me, it was hard,

I am very much alike, I got plans, I got a vision, I got stuff, I want things to turn out a certain way. I remember when I was about 17, I had just graduated high school and an older woman who I knew was kind of like a mentor to me. And she had told me like Gloria, sometimes you gotta just go with the flow, you got to wait for your ship to come in. And I told her, I said I don’t wait for my ship to come in, I will swim out and meet it. And that has its good points, it is good to be a go-getter. But at the same time, that attitude, there were definite times where that attitude didn’t help me and I probably should have gone with the flow a little bit more, I would have at least been a little happier, so part of femininity is developing that ability, and it is something you have to develop because for most of us, I don’t think it comes naturally to just go with the flow. We all have opinions, we all have desires and wishes of how we want things to go. So it can be tough to just go with the flow, but it’s very, it’s a necessary thing to develop.

Because when you get married, and you’re working with another person, you have to learn to go with the flow. And you have to be able to kind of compromise with that person. And if you’ve never developed the ability to go with the flow, it’s going to create a lot of tension in your marriage. Because there are a lot of decisions that your husband is going to make naturally. There are certain areas of life that he may be his wheelhouse and he’ll make a decision there. I made a video about, Should you submit to a man and that’s a little bit of what I’m talking about here. Now again, naturally, you and your husband are a team you guys submit I feel like is just a really creepy word. Like I don’t like to say that I prefer to call it cooperation. You guys have to cooperate with each other. But it’s hard to cooperate with someone if you are very used to having things your way. So again, that’s why to be successful. As a woman, I do feel like developing the ability to be flexible and go with the flow and not get all bent out of shape when things don’t go exactly the way you want. I think that’s a skill that is going to help you very much in your life.

Obviously these are generalizations but in general men are more oriented toward things women are more oriented toward people and can you immediately see how being able to go with the flow like fits into that and would be more useful for a woman because we’re things that are inanimate objects. I can pick this So, and I put it somewhere here, this little craft thing, but I picked this up, it’s an inanimate object, it’s going to stay where I said it, if I want to make something or things like that it’s an inanimate object, it will allow me to do what I want to it, it doesn’t have an opinion, your pen is not going to talk back to you and your writing, and say, Why did you use that? That’s bad grammar, debit bla, they’re inanimate objects. And now, while it’s true, there is an effort to dominate nature, and develop tools and develop landscapes and build buildings, there is a certain effort to that, however, it’s different, it’s different. Whereas with people, a person, if you tell a person, go sit over there, especially with children, you tell a child go sit over there, they may or may not sit over there. And if they do sit over there, they may not stay sitting over there, you want to tell a man something, you have to persuade him, things like that. And so because as women are so people oriented, sometimes it’s vitally necessary to be able to go with the flow of what people want, because people are people, and you’re never going to have them do exactly what you want to do.

A lot of our unhappiness in life as women stems from us wanting a person in our life to behave differently than they’re behaving. Usually, it’s our partner, oftentimes, it’s our children. Sometimes it can be our parents, and sometimes we get very valid reasons for it. You may have a partner that maybe they have a drinking problem or something, and you’re like, I want this for their own good. Yeah, absolutely. and do whatever you can to help them get over that. But at the end of the day, it’s their choice, and they’re going to do what they want to do. And so that’s why us women, having the ability to, it’s also known as like accepting God’s Will he there are certain things now obviously, things like drug problems, alcohol problems, that’s kind of a slightly different approach, but in the less catastrophe type things going with the flow can be very crucial. So I do think any fully fledged woman has that skill in her arsenal, she’s not overly attached to having things exactly her way. She has an ability to be flexible and go with the flow. So that’s a really important one important enough to where I’m spending a lot more time on it than talking about it than the other ones.